Judge — December 7, 1912 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pa and Santa Claus. By Joe Cone, A SAYS they ain’t no Santy Claus, P Ain’t goin’ to be, an’ never wuz. He says it’s Tommy Rot, this line Ur talk that people hand so fine ‘About white whiskers an’ all that, The reindeer scheme an’ fur-lined hat. He says the quicker Sis an’ me Stake it, the better we will be. ‘The other night I thought I’d show Pa that he wuz mistaken, so Igot a suit made out uv red An’ pat a fur hat on my head, An’ got some cotton, long an’ white, Which to my chin I fastened tight; An’ then I crept up to his door, Where I could hear him breathe an snore. An' then I hollered, ‘‘Whoa!"’ like I Had stopped my reindéer from the sky. Pa woke an’ set right up in bed, ‘An’ rabbed his eyes an’ scratched his head; An’ then he ast me who I wuz, An’ I, I says, ‘I’m Santy Claus; I've got a present here fur you,’’ An’ fram my bag I quickly drew Apipe an’ some tobbacco, jest Toe kind I knew he liked the best; An’ then I said, ‘*Good-night!"’ an’ I Turned to the winder handy by. An’ then pa s: “Hold on!’’ Says he “You're jest the chap I wanter see. I've got a boy an’ girl, I jings, Now is the time to order things. “Ol’ Santy Claus, I’m glad,’’ says he, “You happened round an’ called on me. Now take your notebook an’ your pen, An’ bring these when you come again.”’ Pa ordered that an’ ordered this, Bright things fur me an’ things fur Sis. Imust have fooled him, I believe, Becuz we got them Christmas Eve. All Look Alike. Grumpy—‘‘I look like a citizen of dignity and substance, do I not?” Wiseman—‘‘Certainly. You engage attention for your manner and aspect.’ Grumpy—‘Well, I just stood on the tight corner, held up a hand, and the motorman went on without slacking.’” Wiseman—"‘A street car, my dear tir, is no respecter of Ppersons.’’ | There has been a bumper crop. This is because the tillers of the soil have been industrious, and the rain and the sun have favored their plantings. There has been industrial activity. The makers of things in factories have been busy. They have had work to do and pay for doing it. - There has been commercial success. The people who buy and sell and fetch and carry have been doing a lot of business and they have been paid for doing it. The country is prosperous because all the people have been busy. Good crops and good times can be en- joyed only when the Government main- tains peace and harmony. This task of the Government is made comparatively easy because the American Prosperity people have been enabled to become so well acquainted with each other. They know and understand one another. They are like one family. The producer and consumer, no matter where they live, are close together. This is largely due to our wonderful facilities for intercommunication. We ex- cel in our railways, our mails and our tele- graphs, and, most ofall, in our telephones. The Bell System has fourteen million miles of wire spread over all parts of the country. Each day there are twenty- five million telephone talks all the way from twenty feet to two thousand miles long. The raiser of crops, the maker of things, and the man of commerce, all are helped to co-operate and work together for peace and prosperity by means of the Universal telephone. |} AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY | AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One System For Liquor and Drug Users A scientific remedy that has cured nearly half a million in the past thirty-two years, Administered by medical specialists at Keeley Institutes only. Universal Service Write for particulars Another Marine Disaster. Chollic—'Her hopes of marrying the Count de Monnai were dashed to Pieces 0a the rocks,’” Columbus. Obie, Toronto. Reggie—“On what rocks, Chollie?"” : Winnipeg, Manitoba, Chollie—On the rocks her father PEiladciphia: Pa, £18, Broad St. London: Eagland wank in Wall Street.’* : ; 7 Following Keeley Institutes: Pittebarg. Pa, (26 Fifth Ave, Providence. KL Columbia 8 C. Salt Lake City, Utah, tario, To the St Lote, Mo. 801 Locuss St Flot Springs. Ark. ester. NH. Ine Anceles. Cal, ~ fa amswering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com