Judge — November 30, 1912 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard. The Reason.—‘‘Oh, mother, why are the men in the front baldheaded?’" “They bought their tickets from the scalper, my child.’* —Chicago Tribune. Higher Up.—‘‘I suppose you have tried motoring, judge?’’ he asked. “No, I have not,’’ replied the jodge; ‘‘but I have tried a lot of people who have.'’—Path finder. Pleasant for Pa. —‘‘Mr. Guzzlitt, have you any rivets in your sides?”’ “No, Bobby. Why do you ask me such a question?’’ “My father said you were a human tank."’—Birmingham Age~Herald, AHelpless Pair.—‘‘Could you help me to take a chicken apart?’’ asked the bride. “I'm afraid not,’ answered the groom. ‘‘I know very little about machinery.'’—Louisville Courier- Journal. Killed His Appetite. — ‘‘Brown spoiled a good dinner for me last evening.”” “How?"" “Told me that I was to be called on for a few remarks after I had eaten it.'’—Detroit Free Press. Give Him Time.—‘‘ You're a pretty old man to be begging,’’ sxid the lady to the man at the back door. “Yes, ma‘am,"’ replied the man with his hat in his hand. Have you been begging all your "" — Yonkers The Real Question at Issue.—‘*Do you think,’’ said the young doctor, “that we can afford to operate on this man now?"’ “That isn’t the question,’’ said the old surgeon. ‘Can he afford to have us operate is what we want to know."’ —Netroit Free Press. A Boomerang.—Mrs. Hiram Offen —“I'm afraid you won’t do. As nearly as I can find out, you have worked in six or seven places during the past year.’” Miss Grady—‘‘ Well, an’ how manny girls has yersilf had in the same toime? No less, I’m thinkin’."’—- Boston Transcript. Early Activity.—‘‘Some day you may President of the United States," said the admiring father. “That's true,’? replied the alert small boy thoughtfully. ‘You Wouldn't care about coming to the front with an advance contribution to the campaign fund, would you?” —Washington Star. If He Could Have His Way.—Uncle —‘Sammy, if you could have Your way, who would you rather be anybody else?’’ immy—‘‘ Just me—if I could al- Nays have my way.” THE—PURE FOOD—WHIiSKEY At some time or another nearly everyone gets an attack of the “‘blues,’’ everything seems to B wrong, and the whole world has a dreary look. at is the time when a little Sunny B: —The Pure Food Whiskey—will perform a magical change. Its rich, fragrant bouquet, and mellow flavor make it a delicious beverage—every goiden drop pleases the senses and soothes the nerves. Best of all, its absolute purity and highly developed medicinal properties make its use perfectly safe—in fact, highly beneficial. Sunny Brook—The Pure Food Whiskey—is Bottled In Bond—every bottle bears the Green Government Stamp, so that in addition to the unqualified guarantee by the largest distillers of fine whishey in the orld that its quallty ts unsurpassed, you have the assurance of the U, S, Government iy natural, straight whiskey. unadulterated, fully mat There’s just the difference be- DI AM IOND »S ! oan Fela poorly made Cock- : Club Cocktail fOETIS Diamond Cutters that there is between a raw, new Whiskey and a soft old one. The best of ingredients—the most accurate blending cannot CHRISTMAS DINNERS give the softness and mel- | lowness that age imparts. FoR Wasa Club Cocktails are aged in wood dies (aes ’ before bottling—and no freshly 300,000' 4. made Cocktail cea be es £00d. POOR } : / ; blends, bottled, ready PEOPLE WX threath cracked tee, ‘Will be j tite Refuse Substitutes supplied by 7 i AT ALL DEALERS The GF. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Props. Salvation Army p Hartford New York ” London ‘Throrghout the United States ‘Will you help by ending & donation, MISS BOOTH 118 W. 14th Street, New York City Western States, Commissioner Estill, 669 S, State St., Chicago In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com