Judge, 1912-11-30 · page 11 of 26
Judge — November 30, 1912 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Potency of Appearance"** satirizes consumer gullibility. Dr. Grace, a charlatan hair-tonic and complexion salesman, has become wealthy despite being a fake physician. The joke: his success depends entirely on his *own* youthful appearance—white hair and pink cheeks that prove his products "work." Smartweed explains the irony: Grace had his good looks *before* selling beauty products, yet customers assume his appearance proves his tonics' efficacy. This mocks how ordinary people ("the common mind") are duped by superficial evidence into buying worthless remedies. **"A Live Question"** features two working-class Irish men (McCarthy and Shorty, indicated by dialect) gossiping about their wives' conversation, unable to identify the topic but assuming it's trivial. **"To the Boston Cousin"** parodies a wealthy, pretentious woman who received the *Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam* (a famous Persian poetry collection) as a Christmas gift but displays it as a fashionable decoration, confusing its authorship and admitting she's too busy with social obligations to actually read it. **"A Standpatter"** depicts a stubborn five-year-old girl refusing rompers, demanding "real dresses" like adult women wear—satirizing rigid gender expectations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
And now the children dance and play, with Christmas but three weeks away. The Potency of Appearance. «6"THERE goes what I call a poem,’’ said Dogberry, “tand I'm no versifier myself. See him? That man walking so briskly. He might be sixty years old, but moves with the elastic step of youth. And look at his abundant and flowing white hair and his pink s! Who is he?’’ “That is old Dr. Grace,”’ replied Smartweed. ch “He isn’t really a physician, but they call him ‘doc- tor’ because he makes hair tonics, complexion dope and the like. I've known a maker of dog biscuit to be called ‘doctor.’ Andold Grace has accumulated a million, they say.”” ““Ah!"’ mused Dog- berry. ‘‘No wonder. He carries his own evi- dence of the efficiency of his preparations.’ “Well, hardly that,”’ said Smartweed. ‘‘He had his hair and com- plexion before he be- gan the beautifying business. He isa monu- mental example of the potency of mere appear- ance upon the common even mind, especially when Be ee the common mind is under a bald or sparsely thatched roof and is as- sociated with a muddy complexion.” Shorty?" about votin’.’ A LIVE QUESTION. McCarthy—'' What d’ ye think th’ wife is talkin’ wid Mrs. Rafferty, Shorty—*‘ Shure, if 'tisn’t wan thing it’s another; an’ belike it’s To the Boston Cousin Who Sent a Copy of Omar. Dearest Cousin Priscilla—It was so sweet of you to send me such a lovely Christmas gift as that copy of the Rubaiyat. It will be beautiful on my parlor table, for it just matches the cover. I suppose it must be the newest thing, for I've seen it advertised so much lately, and I do love to be up to date; but I thought it was by Oliver Herford or Carolyn Wells or somebody like that. : Not, of course, that this isn’t just as good! I'm just crazy to read it, though, but Jim and I are so busy with thea- ter and dinner parties! You've no idea! You’ve no idea, ei- ther, how literary I feel with that lovely book lying there on my lovely new table cover! We'll read it aloud when you come. Fondly yours, Maysie. A Standpatter. Though five years old, she wept and cried, Her mother and aunties quite defied. “T won't wear rompers, like Cousin Ned— I want real dresses!’’ she hotly said. “T want real dresses, like yours and aunts’. I never can mother my dolls in pants!’” comicbooks.com