Judge — November 23, 1912 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard. Popularity. There was a girl in our town— No wonder she was vain! Adozen suitors helped her on Each time she caught a train. —Birmingham Age-Herald, There was a girl in our town— No wonder she was proud! Dressed in her narrow-skirted gown, She always drew a crowd. --Chicago Record-Herald. There was a girl in our town Who knew that she was sweet, for on a trolley car the men All offered her a seat. ~-Detroit Free Press. There was a girl in our town— She led the men in chains, With dimples, curls and eyes of brown, Why, what's the use of brains? —Cleveland Plain Dealer. There was a girl in our town— And this makes most men glum— %o fetching that no one would frown While she was chewing gum. Explained. — That restored Venus ef Milo proves to be a southpaw with good curves.—Chicago Daily News. An Unkind Remark. — Tommy — “Pop, what is a freethinker?”’ Pop—‘A freethinker, my son, is ay man who isn’t married.’’—Phil- adelphia Record. The Joke Paralyzed Him.—Gibbs— “What did you dc when the footpad demanded your watch?’” Dibbs—‘*Told him I had no time to spare and hurried on.’’ — Boston Transcript, Quite Another Thing.—Marks—‘‘I bear that you have been operating in the stock market.’ Parks—** You've been misinformed. I've been operated upon.’’—Boston Transcript. Favorites. —‘‘The trouble is that my boss has favorites. You can’t deny it.’” ME TO IT!" “Friend of mine, down at the college, says, ‘Professor, get out that old jimmy pipe of yours and let me “I won't deny it. But have you introduce you to some real tobacco—Prince Albert—that’s all wool and a yard wide.’ noticed that his favorites do all the bard work about the place ?’’"—Louis- " ville Courier-Journal, tai: “Can't do it,” says I, ‘because I’ve been tongue-stung.’ ‘You can,’ says he, ‘because it qvon't sting.’ And . ‘ " Wa GE “Well, welll Not a bite, not a sting, nota regret! Why, P. A.’s a revelation—and to think it sells for Invisible Print.—Kitty—‘‘Isn't it @ | 5- in the toppy red bag and 10c in the tidy red tin, My, my! Wish I was starting in all over again !”” most fortunate thing?” Ethel—*What?”" Kitty That people can’t read the kisses that have been printed ‘pon a girl's lips." — Boston Tran- seript. Appropriate. —Smith—‘‘ What is an ottoman?’ Jones—‘‘Something to kick around 02 the floor, to rest your feet on."’ Smith—Then I guess the Turkish Sovernment is well named.’’—Pitts- burgh Dispatch. Completing the Course. —‘‘Now,”’ tid the professor, ‘when you have taken a few lessons in acting, I think I can commend you as a highly com- petent dentist.’ ‘‘What do I want with lessons in acting?” “After you have assured a patient that you are not going to hurt him, you must show great skill in display- ing grief and surprise when he yells.’’— Washington Star. A New Idea.—‘‘Your honor,” said the arrested chauffeur, ‘‘I tried to warn the man, but the horn would not work.’’ “Then why did you not slacken speed, rather than run him down?”’ A light seemed to dawn upon the prisoner. ‘‘That’s one on me! I never thought of that.’’—Houston Post. Tough.—‘*‘ More tough luck,”’ whis- pered his wife. “‘Well, what now?’’ he muttered. “*You know Miss Green never sings without her music?” “Yes,” “Well, she’s brought her music.”’ —Detroit Free Press, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com