Judge — November 16, 1912 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Miss Dotleigh—"' Traly, marriage is a lottery."” A chorus of giggles greeted this. “There will be no entries unless you cut out the word ‘aged,’ ’’ said Mrs. Kindert. “What about hunters and jump- ers?"’ asked the chairwoman, “High kickers and society dancers,”’ suggested Mrs. Bronstunfrunt. “Open to all ages and weights."” “That wouldn’t be fair!’’ protest- ed Mrs. Kindert excitedly. ‘‘I can toetickle a chandelier with any woman of my weight, and I can turkey trot and bunny hug twice as long as most women my age; but I’m not going to compete with any 115-pound broiler. So there!’" “Ladies,’’ said Mrs. Bronstun- frunt, trying to avert a storm, ‘‘we have forgotten the most important class. I move that we offer a silver loving cup, valued at one thousand dollars, for the handsomest, best dressed woman.”* “‘Loving cups are silly!’’ asserted the chairwoman scornfully. ‘‘Make it a diamond brooch."’ REPARTEE. “No; I prefer a hair ornament. 1 have plenty of brooches,’’ said Mrs. Bronstunfrunt. “I'd rather have a pearl pendant,” protested Mrs. Kindert. No two directresses favored the same trophy, and as each one fully AWAITING DEVELOPMENTS. Van Smitten—" Yes; and this is the drawing-room." expected to win it, all stood pat. Hence the meeting adjourned itself in great disorder and the suffragette horse show sank into the silent ob- livion in which repose the multitude of glorious things that might have been, November. There is one day of this dark month, at least, On which we all forget its skies so murky; Its gloom cannot affect the souls that feast On good, old-fashioned pumpkin pie and turkey! No Chance at All. Adam Bede, the humorist of Con- gress, has a singular way of express- ing himself. In opposing a certain measure, he put the house in a roar of laughter when he said, ‘‘That bill doesn’t stand any more chance than a bow-legged girl in the town where she was raised.’ comicbooks.com