Judge, 1912-11-16 · page 23 of 24
Judge — November 16, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page consists primarily of **short humorous anecdotes** rather than political cartoons. The jokes satirize everyday social situations and human nature: - **Housing scam**: A landlord renames an apartment building and raises rent without tenants actually moving - **Elopement mishap**: A father mistakes his daughter's signal (robin noise) for an intruder and fires a shotgun - **Over-lending**: A woman borrows so many ingredients from a neighbor that the neighbor sarcastically offers to lend cooking gas - **Shellac mishap**: A Philadelphia man drinks shellac varnish thinking it's whiskey, dying without "finishing" The page also includes **"Short Cuts to Philosophy,"** witty definitions mocking pretentiousness (e.g., "A realist is one who refuses to recognize the word 'Kant'"). The **advertisements** promote liquor, a hotel, and Abbott's Bitters—typical of the era. These reflect Judge's audience: educated, urban, middle-to-upper-class men who appreciated wordplay and social commentary delivered through brief, punchy scenarios.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
is Passing the Mustard. Presto, Change !—‘‘Still at Billson’s lodging house, are you not?’’ “No; at the Cholmondeley apart- ments."” “When did you move?” “Didn’t move. They just changed the name and put up the rent.’’— Boston Transcript. AVictim of Noise.—‘*Why did the clopement fall through?” “We had a signal arranged. She told me to come to her window and make a noise like a robin. I did “Yes?"" “Then her father popped out and made a noise like a shotgun’? — Louisville Courier-Journal. Enough To Kill It.—‘‘Oh, papa,’’ exclaimed the young girl, ‘‘that pret- ty plant I had setting on the piano is dead” “Well, I don’t wonder,’’ was all the father said. — Yonkers Statesman, The Lend Club. — Mrs. Hardin— “Can you lend me a cup of sugar, an egg, @ piece of butter and a’’—— Mrs. Testy—‘*Yes; and ‘it's too bad you can’t take home some of our gas to cook things with!''—Kansas City Star. Strictly Business.—‘‘Pa, I have ac- cepted the duk. He will cost only a million plunk “Cheap enough, my dear. Now, thenext step is to get the title exam- ined." — Louisville Courier-Journal, Getting Along. — Spratts —‘‘ Miss “at. Elder is much older than I thought.” Hunker—‘‘ Impossible !"" Spratts—‘* Well, I asked her if she tid read Aisop's Fables, and she said she read them when they first came out."’—Home Journal. ASmooth Finish.—‘‘Did you read about the Philadelphia man who ¢rank shellac varnish, supposing it to be a highball?’” “Yes; and the poor fellow never sw his finish.’’— Cleveland Plain | Dealer. Short Cuts to Philosophy. An epicure is an artist.of the palate. Platonic love is a body of ice be- tween two bodies of lava. A vegetarian is a spiritual being, with a sole craving for meat. A realist is one who refuses to rec- ognize the word ‘*Kant.’’ Asophist is your cool-headed op- ponent in a heated discussion. Aspiritualist is a believer in spir- its; a prohibitionist is a teetotaler. A cy is one who grieves when (42a smile and smiles when you grie Philosophy is a comprehensive in- giry into the wherefore of the there- fore and the whyness of the which. Gorden Price, Brery lover of a good cocktail should insist tat Abbott's Bitters be used in making \- twes your getting the very best. C, W. Abbott Co, Baltimore, Md. HOTEL EARLINGTON (FIRE-PROOF) 27th Street, West of Broadway, NEW YORK EUROPEAN PLAN RATES $1.00 Single, $2.00 Parlor, Bedroom and Bath Within Five Minutes of Shopping and Theatre Districts. Absolute Quiet at Night LARGE SAMPLE ROOMS NEW MANAGEMENT . E. W. WARFIELD, Manager LECCE EE CE CE EEE Eee oboeh bbb hbo dedet: HAS STOOD THE TEST OF AGES IS STILL THE FINEST CORDIAL EXTANT At first-class Wine Merchants, Grocers, Hotels, Cafés. Bitjer & Co., 45 Broadway, New York, N. Y. Sole Agents for United States. LLERGTEEDEEDE TESTS STO ED SETS STE STOSTOTTISTTOTETIOTTETIOTEDTOOTS In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com