Judge — November 2, 1912 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Diana (after aiming for two minutes) —“‘ Oh, I just cav’t shoot the preity creature. Green Farming. THE prosperous farmer from the agri- cultural West was talking. “When I first went at it,’’ he said, “‘T was green asa punkin. I hadn't any money to speak of, either, and as I thought the land close to the railroad was too expensive, I rented a place back in the country. Bully land it was, too; better than the railroad land and not a third the cost. I put in corn, wheat and oats, and raised a hummer of acrop. Ihad the laugh on the chaps that raised a smaller crop on higher-priced land, and was feeling mighty good, though my money was all gone. But it didn’t pan out. I had to give my wheat crop to a man for thrashing the oats, and another party got the ‘oats for cutting and husking the corn, and, by heck! a teamster took all my corn for hauling it to the railroad. After that I quit and moved in closer to transporta- tion facilities."’ — William J. Lampton. The Cruel, Cruel Answer. “See, darling!’’ and Mrs. Justawed held up for her husband’s gaze three mirrors arranged so as to give as many reflections. ‘‘I can get a triple view of myself.’’ “‘Humph!"’ gurgled her brute of a man, struggling with his collar. ‘You seem to be quite popular with yourself !"’ THE ARTISTIC LEADER. “* Plees, less notes und more feelings."’ Here, you take it—and hurry up, he 'll be off in a minute !"* What Was the Reason? I told Josiah to tell Widow Wray, To tell Mrs. Jones, next door, To tell Eph Brown, who goes that way, To tell Deacon Squires at the store, To tell our old stage driver, Abraham Breen, To come for me sure and in season. Now, I've waited all day and no stage have I seen, So what, pray tell, is the reason? The Main Thing. Mrs. Crawford —‘‘The janitor got angry when I told him the apartment was cold.’” Crawford —‘‘I hope he was an- gry enough to answer with some heat.” He Was Rather Stupid. “Your ears have never been pierced?’’ I asked, on converse bent. “No; simply bored,’’ the girl re- plied. I wonder what she meant? comicbooks.com