Judge, 1912-11-02 · page 21 of 24
Judge — November 2, 1912 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains primarily humorous short stories ("Stories With Smiles") and two major advertisements—not political cartoons. The stories are lighthearted anecdotes about working-class and domestic life, featuring dialect humor typical of early 20th-century magazines. They rely on misunderstandings and unexpected twists: a laborer's non-discriminatory kindness, an elderly husband's self-interested concern masquerading as chivalry, an office boy following orders too literally, and a con man's scheme unraveling. The main illustrated feature is a Bell Telephone advertisement titled "A Proverb of Bell Service," which uses an ancient Indian parable about a sage named Vishnu-sarman to suggest that just as the proverb "To one whose foot is covered with a shoe, the earth appears carpeted" once applied, now the Bell System makes universal communication similarly universal. Two advertisements appear below: one for "The Keeley Cure" (a treatment for alcohol and drug addiction) and one for Abbott's Bitters (a medicinal product). The page functions primarily as advertising and light entertainment rather than satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Stories With Smiles. Not Discriminating. —‘‘Oh, thank you,’” exclaimed an elderly lady to a laborer who surrendered his seat in a crowded car; ‘thank you very much!’ “That's orl right, mum,’’ was the re- joinder. As the lady sat down the chivalrous laborer added, “Wot I ses is, a man never ort to let awoman stand. Some men never gets up unless she’s pretty, but you see, mum, it don’t make no difference to me."’— Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. Caution, Not Kindness.—An old couple came in from the country, with a big basket of lunch, to see the circus. The Jonch was heavy. The old wife was carrying it. As they crossed a street, the husband held out his hand and said, “Gimme that basket, Hannah.’’ Tne poor old woman surrendered the basket with a grateful look. “That's real kind 0’ ye, Joshua,’’ she quavered. “Kind!’’ grunted the old man. ‘I wuz afeared ye'd git lost.’’—Argonaut. Obeying Orders.—A well-known busi- ness man tells this experience. He says, ‘I told my office-boy one day that Iwould have to have the morning to myself, and he must keep visitors out of my private room. ‘I don’t care what you tell them,’ said I. ‘Make up any story you like. Get fresh with them if they are too persistent.’ An hour or two later, as I afterward learned, a lady called and insisted on seeing me. The boy assured her that it couldn’t be done. ‘But I must see him,’ she said. ‘I’m bis wife.’ ‘Aw!’ was Jimmy’s reply. ‘That's what they all say!’ Of course my wife went away good and mad. Well, no; the kid didn’t lose his job. I couldn't blame him. He was only obey- ing orders,’"—Newark Star. Time To Get Away.—The grubby- looking man stood in the doorway with determination on every line of his un- shaven countenance. The housewife who faced him was equally determined. “Yes, madam,”’ said the shabby man; _| “the guv’nor says to me, ‘Go and git Mr. Jones’s dress suit to be cleaned and pressed e lady’ll give it to yer.’ 2"| The guv’nor’s a tailor, you see, mum.’” “Oh!’’ replied the lady. ‘‘And did you see Mr. Jones?"’ “I did, mum,’? came the answer; “wiv me own eyes. He says, ‘The (} lady"ll know. I lef? a message at ‘ome,? "? Plainly Mrs. Jones was perplexed. The trickster felt he had nearly achieved his object. The lady’s reply finally -e| crushed him, however. . ‘Well,’ she answered, ‘‘all I can say ia that Mr. Jones never had a dress suit, and for the past five years he’s been in Canada.’’ “| Then the grubby man bolted.—An- twers. Sticed Oranges with a dash of Abbott's Bitters are Wpetizing and healthful. Sampleof bitters by mail, cts. instamps, C.W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. A Proverb of Bell Service Once upon a time there dwelt on For one man to bring seven million the banks of the holy river Ganges a_ persons together so that he could talk great sage, by name Vishnu-sarman. with whom ne chose Pe wg a t as difficult as to carpet the When King Sudarsana appealed to mes 5 the wise mer’ instruct his wayward a catty with leatiet Be a sons, Vishnu-sarman_ undertook the be id roth 1 ho one on ody. task, teaching the princes by means would not be €'0 yOody. of fables and proverbs. For one man to visit and eal eit i i i i a comparatively small number of dis- Prey fis sprilkescpical, Sayles tant persons would be a tedious, dis~ ; couraging and almost impossible task. “To one whose foot is covered with th th rs all carpeted But with the Bell System provid- Payee as ae P ing Universal Service the old proverb e changed to read: This parable of sixteen hundred may 8 years ago, which applied to walking, To one who has a Bell Telephone applies today to talking. It explains af his lips, the whole nation is within the necessity of one telephone system. speaking distance. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES Every Bell Telephone is the Center of the System.- v, —— {=} ; For Liquor and Drug Users g TEE e eley i] A scientific remedy that has cured nearly half a ure SP SSS = million in the past thirty-two years. Administered Wi by medical specialists at Keeley Institutes only. ty Write for particulars MH To the Following Keeley Institutes: St Loule. Mo. 801 Locust St Pitteburg, Pa, «248 Fifth Ave. Hot Springs. Ark. Dwicht. 111. Manchester. N. H. Providence. 1. Ins Angeles Cal. Marina. Ind. Roffalo. N.Y. Columbia. & C. San Francisco. Cal. Crab Orebard. Ky. White Plains. Salt Lake City, Utah. Javen. Conn. Portiand. Me Columbus, Toronto, Ontario. te. Fim, Lezington, Mere, Portiand. Ore, Winnipeg. Manitoba, Kansas City, Mo, Pbiladelphia, Pa, $18. Broad St. London. England In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com