Judge, 1912-10-26 · page 22 of 24
Judge — October 26, 1912 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** with some light satirical content interspersed. The main advertisements promote luxury goods—champagne (Cook's brand), whiskey (Old Overholt), cigars, and services like press clipping bureaus and art instruction courses. The satirical content appears in two pieces: "Halloween Acrostic," a humorous poem about Halloween themes, and "The Texas Appetite," which **mocks Texans' declining eating capacity**. The piece claims that 66 men collectively consumed only one 140-pound watermelon (less than 2 pounds per person), suggesting Texans have lost their legendary appetite and toughness. It sarcastically challenges Texas pride by demanding they recount properly "under certificate of the Governor." "A Good Time Coming" is cynical political verse mocking the upcoming election, suggesting the winning candidate will promise to "fix things to perfection" but implicitly won't deliver. The page reflects Judge's typical mix of advertising revenue and light satirical commentary on American culture and politics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ROMEIKE’ What you wantis qual- ity. You don’t care what the price may be —large or small—if only your taste asacon- noisseur be pleased. That’s why connois- seurs insist on that make for superiority —supreme purity; lasting liveliness; exquisite bou- quet; delightful flavor. It pays noduty toUncle Sam —it pays no ocean freight; these items total the dif- ference in price between Cook’s and imported champagnes. Sold Everywhere and | Served Everywhere American Wine Co. St. Louis, Mo. will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be “up date. to in the United States and Eu: $5.00 for 100 notices. Every newspaper and periodical of importance rope is searched. Terms, Henry Romeske, 108-110 Seventh Avenue, New York. Press Cutting Bureau Old Overholt Rye “Same for 100 years” It had a place on the side- boards of old-time mansions. It's a whiskey of pedigree. Full, rich body; exquisite flavor and fragrance. Aged in oak bar- rels; bottled in bond. A. Overholt & Co. Are You Getting Pay From The BIG HOUSE If you haven theard of f they actually sell 6 Ureatest offer ever made by a old reliable house. Write for Outfit FREE SRiMeornie pecans Dept. 77 ae ee RICOSE VEINS OF BRAINS GARS “MADE AT KEY WEST.— NEW B00KS —"The Hair — its physiciogy, anatomy, author, H. Address the e., New York. HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 32, 24 and 96 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouse, 20 Beekman Street, New York ALL KINDS OF P. MADE TO ORDER JUDGE tite: tery cents «use Be An Artist Make Money Drawing comic pictures. Let the world’s famous cartoonist, Eugene Zimmerman, spill a few ideas into your head, Get the Zim Book—it’s chuck full of valuable sug- gestions. Price, $1 00, postpaid. Bound in 3-4 Morocco. Satisfaction guaranteed. Money back if book returned within 10 days. Address: Zim Book, Room 1149, Branswick Bldg., New York Halloween Acrostic. Hideous hobgoblins, Attempted astrology, Laughable larks, Lovers’ libations, Occult occurrences, Winged witches, Enigmatic entertainment, Ecstatic emotions, Nebulous necromancy, —Hareey Pala The Texas Appetite. There was a time, within the memory of men who have not yet passed life's midstage, when Texas prowess on bat. tlefield and in gastronomy was renowned in many lands. Of the Texans of for. mer days it was said that they would just as soon fight as eat, and as soon eat as fight. It is sad to observe an indica. tion of degeneracy. From Fort Worth, in the Lone Star State, comes the news that one water melon, weighing one hundred and forty pounds, was enough to satisfy sixty-six men, who all ‘‘had their fill." Making deductions for the rind and seeds, it ap- pears that each of these sixty-six men consumed less than two pounds of melon. This seems preposterous. It cannot be that in a commonwealth where all na- tives are assumed to be born expert watermelon eaters the average capacity is less than two pounds per individual! Possibly the real returns are being held back to incite betting, or there may have been cheating in the count, Texas can do better than the Fort Worth statement indicates. It is too great to stand on that record if it be correct. Let it make another attempt and send the returns promptly and cor- rectly under certificate of the Governor, attested by the great seal of the State. A Good Time Coming. Cheer up! It’s but a few weeks now Before the great election, And then the candidate who wins Will fix things to perfection. The cost of living will go down, Whichever statesman gets it; For each has said it sha’n’t stay high, And can’t unless he lets it. Our troubles now will soon be o’er, And we shall all have money. Each candidate has promised that, So life will soon be sunny. The problem seemed insoluble— Perhaps you may have read 80; “But they will soon fix that all right— We know, because they've said 80. —Somerville Journal. Why. —‘‘Minnie,”’ said a mother to her little daughter who had the telltale habit, ‘“‘why is it you can’t keep & secret?” “Because, mamma," explained the precocious miss, ‘‘two of my front teet? are gone, and the secrets just slip out Ip answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com ea ag 8 S88 S £8 #82 895 & FER BERwar wp.