Judge, 1912-10-12 · page 14 of 28
Judge — October 12, 1912 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page satirizes the 1912 U.S. presidential election, featuring four comic panels showing a worker's economic hardship across different political eras. **The narrative**: A laborer contrasts his current employment (1912) with past unemployment (1893), claiming he now avoids "patches" because he has work—yet he ironically cares nothing about actual political issues (tariffs, regulation, Prohibition, Socialism, or the G.O.P.). His sole concern is securing a government job if "the Boss" or a mysterious "She" puts him on the slate. **Key references**: The "Bull Moose" alludes to Theodore Roosevelt's Progressive Party candidacy in 1912, splitting Republican votes. The worker's indifference to substantive policy—combined with his naked job-seeking—mocks voters motivated purely by patronage rather than principle. **The satire's point**: Working-class political engagement amounts to self-interest masked as patriotism. The final anecdote about Roosevelt underscores the irony: a man famous for action claims he can't "do everything at once," yet voters still believe in him.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NO PATCHES They tell me I am being “‘ done '"; ‘The trusts, they say, rob every one; But 1'm at work, and you, perchance, Will note no patches on my pants ! Once I was led astray, I know, I think it was in ninety-two They said that wages would advance, Bat I wore patches on my pants ! The CARE no whit for G. O. P., nor hold the Bull Moose dear; I'm not of Democratic cast of mind. To Prohibition’s cause I turn a deaf, un- heeding ear; To Socialism I am not inclined. T have a single issue, most astonishingly clear, On which I've fought my campaign up to date. If the Boss were only willing, there’s a post I would be filling Asa Certain Little Party's candidate. * aK ON MY PANTS! ‘They tell me I'm a “slave '' and bear A burden, bat they are not fair; The pack that / lug carries things That a high rate of wages brings. T lost my job, as thousands did, And down the hard luck plank we slid ; Issue. I'm dumb about the tariff, referendum and recall; On parcels post I've nothing much to say. My in small, I do not care a hang for ‘‘Schedule K."’ I do not know who'll be elected Presi- dent next fall. If only She would put me on her slate! And by constant fears I'm haunted that perhaps I'll not be wanted As aCertain Little Party’s candidate. —David Stephen Maven st in railroad regulation’s very To earn their bread men had no chance, And ail wore patches on their pants! Of Different Genera. “‘My precious lamb,"’ said the new parson to the little girl, “‘I fear me your father is one of those wayward sheep, long strayed from the fold.”” “Dad's not a sheep,”’ smiled the lit- tle girl, ‘*He’s a Bull Moose A Distinction. First voter—‘'I see Roosevelt declared in a speech the other day that ‘we can’t do everything at once.’’” ‘econd voter—'* Well, we can’t; but I always thought he could.’” comicbooks.com