Judge, 1912-09-21 · page 20 of 24
Judge — September 21, 1912 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements** with a brief satirical dialogue at the top right. The main content is a philosophical debate ("Want a Million?") between two characters—the Dreamer and the Thoughtful Man—about universal wealth. The Thoughtful Man argues that if everyone had a million dollars, society would collapse: no one would work as laborers, builders, or performers; there'd be no goods to purchase; civilization would regress to savagery. The satire critiques naive utopianism by exposing the paradox that mass wealth requires inequality to function—someone must do the unglamorous work. It reflects early-20th-century anxieties about labor, class structure, and economic sustainability. The surrounding ads (Old Overholt Rye whiskey, clothing, cocktails) are period-typical Judge magazine content, unrelated to the main satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘OU’LL want to own this picture. You can’t help it. It’s so stunning and the price is only 25c. So send the 25c and THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK, beauti- fully colored on enameled paper, is yours. Judge 225 Fifth Avenue New York Trade supplied by Close, Graham & Scully, N.Y. There’s the glow of life in Old Overholt Rye “= Keen, warm, vital—cap- tured from the hot sun that vitalized the rye. A stimulant of quali- ty—a dependable, pure rye whiskey "| bottled in bond. A. Overholt & Co. Pittsburgh, Pa. i gGehhiand Clhics MAKES ANY FELLOW YOUNG Distinctive garments—Dependable woolens Exclusive rather than popular ‘annot sapply you write ax TEST FOR YOURSELF Mix the best cocktail you know | how —test it side by side pith a} Club Cocktail No matter how. good a Cocktail you make you will notice a smooth- ness and mellowness in the Club Cocktail that your own lacks. Club Cocktails after accu blending of choice liquors ob their delicious flavor and delicate aroma by ageing in twood before bottling. A new cocktail can ve the flavor of an aged Mashattan, Martini and other standard blends, bottled, ready te serve through cracked ice. Refuse Substitutes AT ALL DEALERS F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sele OTtlerd New York.” Londo Want a Million? (Concluded from a preceding page.) “How about the running water in your house? You'd have, in the first place, no house to put the water in; and, in the second place, no water to put in the house you couldn’t have. You'd go to sleep early at night, on the ground or in the branches of the trees, because you'd have no light whereby to read the books, magazines and papers which, after all, you wouldn’t have on account of none being made. No man would think of writing or setting type or running a press if he had a million, and, besides, there'd be no paper to do the work on. Millionaires don’t actively engage in the paper-making business, They manage it, that’s all. And as for the theater, who would act for you? No millionaire cast is going to continuously perform. “You'd sail a yacht? Who would build the yacht for you? You'd fish? Who would make your line and hooks? You'd auto or aeroplane? Tut-tut! You couldn’t get the goods to make the craft with or men to do the work. I tell you, the world would be all to the bad if we were all worth a million dol- lars."" ‘Our present millionaires are not in- dolent,’’ said the Dreamer. “True enough; but the situation is different. Men can now be had to do the work. Millionaires are many, but paupers more. The hope inspiring the paupers is to keep their bodies and souls together; the ambition is to be rich some day. I tell you, this matter of wealth universal would produce a pack of plutocratic paupers. We'd each have our little million tied in a sack—we couldn’t have the money in our pockets, for we’d have no pockets—and we'd nurse it. We wouldn’t be able to spend it, for there wouldn’t be any place to take it. No one would run stores, for obvious reasons. We'd have to go back to the days of savagery, when man hunted the wild beasts with clubs and rocks. We'd have to return to eating raw meat or cooking it over fagot fires inflamed by the rubbing of stone on stone. We’d have men slaying men in the rivalry of love. Lost would be the arts, the sciences, the culture.’’ “Still, we all yearn for wealth,” sug- gested the Dreamer. “Only those who have not considered the proposition,” replied the Thoughtfal Man. ‘‘Only those who have not A teaspoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Fruit makes an ideal appetizing tonic. Sample bitters by mail, 25 ets. in stampa. C. W. Abbott & Co, Baltimore, Md. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com