Judge, 1912-09-14 · page 19 of 24
Judge — September 14, 1912 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains primarily **advertisements** interspersed with humorous short stories typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines. The main content includes: **"Effects"** — A sentimental poem about romantic daydreams ruined by a bad cigar, ending with the speaker wishing he could find who gave it to him. **"A Slave to Fashion"** — A joke about a butcher's customer who sees alligators in an aquarium and immediately wants to buy them as food, suggesting fashion/trend-following trumps logic. **"Why of Course!"** — A dark humor piece where a physician at an asylum is tricked by a patient who convinces him he's sane, then asks if the doctor carries toast (implying the "patient" believes he's a poached egg). The doctor flees in embarrassment. **"His Quaintness"** — A brief joke about an eccentric villager with illogical thinking. The **advertisements** promote Remington typewriters with adding functions, monogram cigarettes, and Judge magazine bindings — typical products marketed to middle-class readers of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
art. e.) in the at hurl. omotive ut of a he loco. quickly alter of ‘ain. way the e heart. © wind, master. is all | ths and burned was in ld have uggest- ike the tors on en dal- g ina With lowing e been I tip it goes worked and a alings perate hind 8 dge of > flash m had s! pricks, Effects. qpexouce rings of smoke I some- times see Aworld where all enchantments dwell, ‘And as I puff there come to me Dreams that to rapture me impel. By woodland streams my way I wend With Stella, ‘neath serenest skies; ‘And as the tenuous wreaths ascend, Isee the lovelight in her eyes. But not now as I'm blowing smoke To fairest visions am I led; I feel as though I'm apt to choke, ‘And strangest thoughts flit through my head. And fain I wish that one were near, For there’s one face I fain wov'd mar— I wish I had that fellow here Who treated me to this cigar! A itbaw M. Levy A Slave to Fashion. A butcher in an Ohio town recently received from a friend in Florida a num- ber of small alligators, which he proudly displayed in an aquarium at his place of basiness. A customer came into the shop one afternoon and stood for some time gaz- ing at the reptiles. Having turned the matter over in his mind, the customer approached the butcher and exclaimed, “I suppose a body might as well be dead as out of style. Gimme a couple pounds of alligator!"’ Why of Course! A celebrated physician was being con- ducted through an asylum by a ‘trust: who conversed so intelligently the physi- cian was completely hoodwinked and promised to attend to certain outside matters for him. At the gate the trusty called the doc- tor aside and very earnestly asked him if he had a piece of toast in his pocket. “Toast! Of course I haven't! What do you want with a piece of toast “y "' responded the man, ‘‘you see, am a poached egg, and I really ought to have some toast to sit on. Don’t you think so?"” Bat the doctor had fled. Otte B. Shout His Quaintness. e got just about the queerest character here that any village ever had," a trifle pessimistically said the landlord of the Skeedee tavern. ‘He actually thinks he hasn't any business Soing to the depot when the cars come in when he hasn’t any business there!'’ Here is the Totalizer of the Remington Adding and Subtracting Typewriter. These Totalizers are furnished in 347 dif- ferent styles and sizes. 347! Think what that means! It Means that the Remington Adding and Subtracting Typewriter will add or subtract straight numerals; dollars and cents; hours, minutes and seconds; feet and inches: ls and ounces; seiloas. qoerts and pints; shillings and pence; fractions of many sorts; it will do all of these things and many others with Totalizers of any required capacity and any desired spacings. It Means that the time and labor sav- ing merits of the Remington Adding and Subtracting Typewriter (Wahl Adding Mechanism) apply to every con- ceivable kind of work where writing ‘end edding are done on the same pare. Sraternities; also for dinner parties or special social gath- Reflect Your Individuality Smoke Monogram Cigarettes When they are especially fine cigarettes, they reflect your good taste as weell. You secure both when you smoke cigarettes of our make. Plain, gold, silver, cork and straw tips $2.00 per hundred with your name or initials (Monogram, Crest. Coat-of-Arms, ete., requiring special die to be made, $1.00 extra tor Firat hundred only.) Mathues Brothers Cigarettes are exclusively hand made . 7 Saris : 2 0 e cleverest of the purest selection of Turkish Tobacco. ‘They are || H=ve a complete file of th undoubtedly better than the best cigarettes you have humorous weekly published. It will eversmoked. Special designs prepared for cubs, colleves. | ye enjoyed by everyone at all times. Richly bound in maroon—half igarettes (Special Size) our specialty. Gaby morocco. Holds fifty-two issues. he famous French actress, late feature Winter . New York City, writes: ** Your cigarettes are i 50, postpaid, excellent and in my opinion they are the best for ladies.” Price $1.50, postp: Print initials plainly ; specify tip desired; enclose money order JUDGE, 225 Fifth Ave., New York in letter, All cigarettes packed in attractive boxes of 100 each. MATHUES BROS., 619 Madison Ave, New York City | In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com