Judge, 1912-09-14 · page 12 of 24
Judge — September 14, 1912 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces targeting early 20th-century American life: **"The Riddle," "Old Sport," and "The Girl on the Sailor"** are brief character sketches with dream-narrative framing, appearing to mock various social types through exaggerated caricature. **"Not Blaming the Tobacco"** and **"Pa's Idea"** are joke columns. The first implies a father's poor parenting caused a child's tobacco sickness (not the tobacco itself). The second plays on misunderstanding "lay delegate" as a poultry convention member. **"Cigars and Income"** is editorial satire questioning whether cigar consumption actually correlates with income as claimed—a commentary on class consumption habits and/or financial irresponsibility. **"Reversing"** depicts a woman asking permission to enter the men's smoking car, satirizing gender norms of smoking segregation. **"The Pipe"** is romantic verse celebrating pipe-smoking, typical of the era's tobacco advertising disguised as literature. The final line—"There are many more things that end in smoke than tobacco"—provides cynical editorial commentary, likely critiquing wasted money, broken dreams, or failed plans.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
~-dollar and a half," he replied pleas- antly. I was about to take the ticket, when the fire alarm sounded, the engines came tearing up the street— And as the engines poured their stream Upon his diamond-stud agleam, I woke to find it but a dream! But strangest of these dreams of night, The very rarest vision, Was one I fear will but excite Your laughter and derision. It came to me one afternoon, When I was softly napping Upon a sunny, sandy dune, Down where the waves were lapping. I thought I was a visitor at Not Blaming the Tobacco. ‘Were you sick the first time you ver smoked?"" ““] should say I was!” “L shouldn’t think you'd ever have cared for tobacco again if it affected you “It wasn’t the tobacco that affected Father was to blame for that."’ Pa’s Idea. “What is a ‘lay delegate,’ pa?” “I think it must be a member of a hen convention."" me. Cigars and Income. (Editorial Query: Is the author's data Check yourself in and see.) 3 for 5c cigars. correct? $1-a-day man smoke: $2- y man smokes 5e cigars. $4-a-day man smokes 10¢ cigars. $8-a-day man smokes 3 for 50c cigars. $16-a-day man smokes 25c cigars. $32-a-day man smokes 3 for 50c cigars. y man smokes 10c cigars. y man smokes 5e cigars. man smokes 3 for 5e cigars. (Editorial Query No, 2: If the au- thor’s data is correct, what's the an- swer?) —Denald A. Kahn Oyster Bay, and, as I entered the colonel’s sanctum at Sagamore Hill, I found him gazing fondly at a photograph of President Taft that he held in his hand. ‘‘Dear old pal!’’ he murmured, as he kissed the passe-partout; and then, catching sight of me as! stood in the doorway, he flushed to the roots of his hair as he said, with a tremor of real emotion in his voice, ‘‘John, old man, let me tell you something that you may put down in your book of sute things. This man, my dear old chum, the Fidus to my Achates, the Damon to my Pythias, is, without any exception, the best President this country has ever had or ever will have. I'’'— As he spoke, the roof fell in and— well — r Things are seldom what they seem, And there, mid crash of brick and beam, I woke to find it but a dream! REVERSING. She—"* You don't mind, do you dear, if I go up in the smoker for a while? The Pipe. What a wealth of golden vision In the pipe! What a glimpse of things Elysian From the pipe! Scenes from shadowland unfurling, With a slow, fantastic twirling, In the fragrant smoke uncurling From the pipe, pipe, pipe, From the never-failing, sweet-in- haling pipe! For old life seems worth the living With a pipe; And a hidden power is giving, Through the pipe, Fame or glory, wealth or power, Or a castle’s gilded tower That is builded in an hour With the pipe, pipe, pipe, With the ever-restful, joy-sug- gestful pipe !—carer 8. suf There are many more things that’end in smoke tnan tobacco. comicbooks.com