Judge — September 7, 1912 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“WILLIAMS'.”" FIRESTONE. A Magazine Romance of To-day. HE Custom Tailored Young Man with the padded shoulders and the cuffed trousers looked across the page with wide-eyed delight. At last his dream of many months had come true. The Cold Cream Girl, long shut out from his gaze by intervening pages of dull fiction and household hints, had moved right across from him, and only a column of etiquette notes stood between them. With wildly pumping heart he fed his eyes upon her Perfect Complexion as she deftly massaged her brow. Presently she felt his eyes upon her and looked up. The Custom Tailored Man doffed his immaculate hat and smiled. “Pardon me,’ he said. ‘I know we haven't been introduced, but we've been living in the same magazine so long that we really ought to be friends."" The Cold Cream Girl wiped her with a chamois-skin powder rag and smiled encourag- ingly. “I'd like to,"’ she said coyly; “but, as you can see, the rules of etiquette stand between us."’ “That doesn’t cut any figure,’’ he said persuasively. ‘*Nobody pays any attention to them nowa- days. The men can’t see the eti- quette department for reading about me, and the women will skip it to read about you.” “y she replied, lowering her voice; ‘‘but there's the Man with the Patent Ear Trumpet just two pages over, and he'll hear every word we say."’ The Custom Tailored Young Man stooped over and reached across to the adjoining page. “T'll fix that,’’ he said, press- Young brow and I keep our diamonds. better than the ordinary studding Friend (interrupting) —'* And they save the rubber!" Oxvner By W. KER MAXWELL ing a little lever. The Aeolian Piano Player immediately began playing the Grizzly Bear. “That ought to make him throw his trumpet away,’’ he remarked. ‘‘What do you say if we dance it?” “T wouldn't dare!’’ she answered. ‘Don't you see the Girl with the Kodak over on the opposite page?” The Custom Tailored Young Man looked across and saw her focusing the thing. He straightened up in a regular Apollo pose, and even put a pleasant ex- pression on his face—too pleasant to suit the Cold Cream Girl. “What are you doing?”’ she demanded. “Flirting with that Camera person?"’ The Custom Tailored Young Man lost his pose and spoiled the picture. “I was just posing,’’ he explained. DIAMOND TIRES. Friend—* Rather nifty—the effect, you kuow—but mighty ex- pensive, I should say."’ Owner—"" Expensive, of course. But that 's the way my wife They are safely set, can't wear out, are “ Exactly.” “You're always posing!’’ she pouted. “Only last month I saw you making eyes at the Talcum Powder Lady on the back cover."’ “You're something of a flirt your- self!’ he retorted. ‘‘Didn’t you snug- gle right up to that Safety Razor Man in the April number—while he was shav- ing, too? It’s a wonder you didn’t get all over lather and spoil your Perfect Complexion !’” “I don’t think it’s any worse to talk to a man while he is shaving than to stand across the page and stare at the Corset Lady when she is only half dressed, like you did.’” The Piano Player had stopped by this time and the Cold Cream Girl reached back a couple of pages and put on a new Graphophone record, so that they could continue their quarrel without at- tracting the attention of the Cor- respondence School Graduate and the Gold Medal Flour Girl, who were looking over the Silverware display in the back of the book. “T wasn’t looking at her at all,’’ protested the Custom Tail- ored Young Man, “although, goodness knows, she must be vain about her figure, or she wouldn't exhibit herself the way she does. I was looking at the Anti-Fat Lady and wondering why she couldn’t strike some kind of an average with the Skin Food spinster on the opposite page.’ This placated the Cold Cream Girl somewhat, but she was not thoroughly convinced. “But you did stare at the Hosiery Girl, and you can’t deny it!” she insisted. “I don’t deny it,’’ he replied. (Continued in advertising section.) comicbooks.com