Judge, 1912-08-31 · page 22 of 24
Judge — August 31, 1912 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising page** from Judge magazine, a satirical publication. The page contains no political cartoons—instead, it features commercial advertisements for hotels (Imperial in New York, Commonwealth in Boston), Dunlap & Co. celebrated hats, Apollinaris water, Sunny Brook whiskey, and the National Elk's Horn magazine. The right column contains "Stories with Smiles"—brief humorous anecdotes typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines. These include jokes about a novelist lacking eloquence, a tall Black man used as a "human yardstick," and a newlywed husband concerned about his wife's wealth only for inheritance purposes. The humor reflects period attitudes and dialect conventions. The page serves primarily as revenue through advertising rather than editorial satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Always Everywhere Apollinaris “THE QUEEN OF TABLE WATERS” Hotel Imperial NEW YORK CITY Broadway at Thirty-first and Thirty-second Streets For convenience of location For excellence of cuisine and efi- cient yet unobtrusive service. or comfortable and luxurious surroundings, not bizarre but elegant. For its atmosphere of hospitality and ‘a desire to cater to the comfort of our patrons Imperial Cannot Be Excelled And in addition rates surprisingly reasonable should induce you to select the Imperial as your stopping place while in New York Hotel Imperial offers unusual attractions and ad- vantages to those desiring a convenient city residence. Rates for suites by season or year quoted on appli- cation to the Manager. Booklet with rates upon request ROBERT STAFFORD Proprietor COPELAND TOWNSEND eager | | | | Celebrated Hats FALL STYLES NOW ON SALE NEW YORK ( Chicago Philadelphia Agencies in Al! Principal Cities COMMONWEALTH HOTEL INC. Opposite State House Offers rooms with hot and cold water for $1. per day and up, which includes free use of shower baths. Nothing to equal this in New England Rooms with private baths for $1.50 per day and up; suites of two rooms and bath for $4.00 per day and up. Dining Room and Cafe First-Ciass. European Plan. Absolutely Fireproof Stone floors; nothing wood but the doors. Equipped with its own sanitary vacuum cleaning plant. Strictly a Temperance Hotel Send for Booklet STORER F. CRAFTS, General Manager Read a live up-to- Are You An Elk? 8e,2,!i¢ v9; filled with all the latest news and gossip of Elkdom, $1.50 per year National Elk’s Horn NORMAN M. VAUGHAN, Editor Mercantile Building ST. LOUIS, MO. Every new subscriber receives a bank free. The Secret of its. » popularity is Inside The PURE FOOD Whiskey Stories with Smiles Lacking in Poetry.—W. D. Howells, aluncheon at Kittery Point, said of , certain popular novelist: “There is about as much is him as there is in MeMasters, 7 ® ‘*McMasters, you know, was walki with a beautiful girl in a wild Ney England wood. “**What is your favorite flower, Mp McMasters?’ the girl asked softly, “*McMasters thought a moment, thes cleared his throat and answered, “**Well, I believe I like the whol wheat best.’ ’—Exchange. The Human Yardstick.—‘‘Golly, bet I's tired!"’ exclaimed a tall and this negro, meeting a short and stout friend on Washington Street. “What you been doin’ to get tired!” demanded the other, “*Well,’’ explained the thin one, draw. ing a deep breath, ‘‘over to Brother Smith's dey are measurin’ de house fer some new carpets. Dey haven't got m yawdstick, and I's just ezactly six feet tall. So to oblige Brother Smith, I's been a-layin’ down and a-gettin’ up all over deir house."’— Youth's Companion A Happy Outlook.—In Detroit they tell of a young man who, although ke made a great deal of money, was ways in debt because of his extra gance. Not long ago, however, b wooed and won a young woman of grett wealth, and immediately things took a a roseate hue. During the honeymoon the bride ve tured to ask hubby whether the fat that she had money made any difference to him. “To be sure it does, my love,” ws the unexpected response. Whereupon wifey was a bit alarmed. “What difference?’’ she asked. “Why, darling,’’ continued the be band, ‘‘it is such a comfort to know tht if I should die you'd be provided for.” “And if I should die?’’ added th bride. “Then, darling,’’ was the reply, “Td be provided for.""—Lippincott's. Feared Music Disturbed Him.—It bsp pened the other evening, and now ace tain clubman is trying to figure out bv he will square things with his wife t next time he is ‘‘detained’’ downtor. He was not going home for dinner, # when his wife answered the telepbott he said, “Don't wait for me at dinner ti evening, dear. I shall be detained @ business." “Very well he replied, ‘I'm sony you can’t come home; but business # business, 1 suppose. Where are * now?"" “Where am I? In my offer, course. I have had a very busy day. “It’s too bad you have to work § hard, George. But tell me something. “Yes, dear. What is it?” “How can you keep your mind @ business with the orchestra play ‘Every Little Movement'?"—Ker®) City Star. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com