Judge — August 31, 1912 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Uncle Si Shocked. “ ALL,"’ said Uncle Si, as he took his accustomed place on the pickle barrel, ‘‘we had a high-falutin’ lawn party up tew the meetin’ house at Lapham's Corners last night. There was sure a heap of folks thar, and the way they carried on seemed to me wasn't 'xactly in place in the meetin’- house yard,’’ said Uncle Si, looking pious and thoughtful. “Tell us about it,’’ said Hiram, help- ing himself to another cracker from the open barrel near by. “Wall, it was jest this a-way. In the fust place, a party of city folks come down from up on the hill—we could see at once that they was goin’ to run things to suit theirselves. If they hadn't a-bought a lot of peanuts, ice cream and lemonade, we'd have broke up the jam- boree right thar and let ’em go home. The fust thing they done was to start a Virginia reelin’, which I reckon is an The Way Out CHANGE OF FOOD BROUGHT SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS. An ambitious but delicate girl, after failing to go through school on account of nervousness and hysteria, found in Grape-Nuts the only thing that seemed to build her up and furnish her the peace of health. “From infancy,’’ she says, ‘I have not been strong. Being ambitious to learn at any cost I finally got to the High School, but soon had to abandon my studies on account of nervous pros- tration and hysteria. “My food did not agree with me, I grew thin and despondent. I could not enjoy the simplest social affair, for I suffered constantly from nervousness in spite of all sorts of medicines. This wretched condition continued until I was twenty-five, when I became interested in the letters of those who had cases like mine and who were get- ting well by eating Grape-Nuts. “Thad little faith but procured a box and after the first dish I experienced a peculiar satisfied feeling that I had never gained from any ordinary food. I slept and rested better that night and in afew days began to grow stronger. “Thad a new feeling of peace and restfulness. In a few weeks, to my great joy, the headaches and nervous- ness left me and life became bright and hopeful. I resumed my studies and later taught ten months with ease—of course using Grape-Nuts every day. It isnow four years since I began to use Grape-Nuts, I am the mistress of a happy home, and the old weakness has never returned.'’ Name given by the Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. “There's a reason." Read the little book, ‘‘The Road to Wellville,"*in pack- ages. Ever read the above letter? A Bew one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and fall of human interest. imitation of how a person acts when he has got full of Virginia corn juice. Us country folks, we gathered around in the corners of the lawn and says nothin’— at least not so’s the city folks could hear. We thought they'd gone far enough with the Virginy trapsing, but we found we was plum mistaken. Some female says, says she, ‘Let’s chase the turkey around this lawn.’ Wall, there wasn't any turkey, but there was some of the worst doin’s that was ever seen in Lapham’s Corners. I bein’ the elder, the members of the meetin’ house riz up unanimous and told me I'd got to stop them fireworks. After knockin’ a near-by table in order to bring silence, I spoke something ‘like this: ‘Brethern and sistern, this ver is the meetin’-house yard. Sech goin’s on as has happened here to-night has disgraced us all, and to make our consciences easy I shall take all the money we've rize here to- night and raise the insurance on the meetin’ house. I ain’t superstitious, but 1 don't believe no building could stand to see what's went on here to- night without either burnin’ up or get- tin’ struck by lightnin’ or havin’ coffee spilt on the vestry carpet. I hope you will now all go home and come again to the next lawn party we have and be as enthusiastic as ye was at this one.’ ““Wall,"’ said Si, ‘the crowd they went home, and I guess they was ashamed of theirselves."’ “‘Wall,’’ said Lem Beacher, who oc- cupied the only chair in the grocery store, ‘‘I never did believe in them ex- citin’ ways to make money for the meetin’ house. It’s much better to take up collections now and then, and if you can’t get along with them, get along with the old meetin’ house." To that all the bysitters answered, “You're right, Lem!’’ and Uncle Si bought his groceries, consisting of a package of tobacco, and went home to do the chores. Gre What is the Answer? It surely seems strange that man, said to be the noblest created object, should for one instant have a doubt of his ability to win a woman's affection. Is he going to concede superior winning powers to that pop-eyed, pudding- shaped, pretzel-tailed pug dog? He Knew. 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