Judge, 1912-08-31 · page 10 of 24
Judge — August 31, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge presents satirical humor across multiple pieces: **"Sand Artists"** (top photo): Two women create drawings in sand at Ocean Grove beach—a lighthearted visual gag about amateur artistic endeavors. **"Pests"** (left column): A catalog of annoying human types: the oblivious questioner, the book-defacer, the self-deprecating wit, the loud neighbor, and the slang inventor. This reflects early-20th-century urban frustrations with common social irritants. **"The Piano"**: Mocks the cacophony of amateur piano playing—a common Victorian/Edwardian household "accomplishment." **"What Did the Bride Think?"**: Dark humor about a serial groom (thrice-married) getting married again in Hoboken, mocking both quick marriages and the transactional nature of fees. **"Sport in the Metropolis"**: A pun suggesting "game" (hunted animals) metaphorically refers to criminals hunted by police. **Other verses**: Humorous takes on machines, marital apologies, and children's aspirations to modern technology. The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical approach to contemporary middle-class life and modern conveniences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
* Pests. WE HAVE ten commandments, seven or more true wonders, and a host of other notable series; but as yet no one has compiled a comprehen- sive and authoritative list of pests in human form. Five suggested are: The plain, ornery, every-day fool who inquires if you are sick, working or going away, when the fact is plainly obvious. The educated biped who marks pas- sages 1n other people's books, The intellectual Aleck who thinks that the other fellow’s face is funnier than his own. The blatant son of Balaam’s braying steed who insists on talking to you and the entire neighborhood simulta- neously. The genius who coins a new bit of slang daily. Psychological researchers are actively engaged in selecting appropriate ad- denda from the 999,995 others. FJ. Collins, SAND ARTISTS. The Piano. Sing a song of music, And especially that blight With six and thirty black keys And half a hundred white. When the lid is opened And hands begin to thrum, Wouldn’t it be truly great If it were stricken dumb? STOOD TO REASON. Housewife—'* How will I save by it if I give you the dinner before you chop the wood ?"* Tramp—'' ‘Cause arter I do all dat work, mum, I''ll be twice as hungry."’ Ocean’Grove July What Did the Bride Think? The three-times widower, with his newest choice, was once more making the necessary visit to the city official in Hoboken. Upon receiving the fee, the clerk exclaimed heartily, ‘‘Thank you! Come ‘again!"” Sport in the Metropolis. Smith—'‘There doesn’t seem to be any closed season for game in New York.” Jones—‘No. And they're always hunting for the man higher up.”” Higher Aspirations. Daddy's got a mowin’ machine, Auntie’s got a’sewin’ machine, Mis’ Jones has one that laughs an’ talks an’ cries; Granny's got a knittin’ machine, Mother's got a washin’ machine, But Brother Bill, he wants the kind that flies. The Wifely Way. “*T offended John dreadfully."* “Have you made up?” “Oh, yes; I succeeded in getting him to ask my pardon."’ comicbooks.com