Judge — August 24, 1912 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* Modern Romance in California. An Unbelievable Tale. GHE SAT in her library corner And read that she needed a vote. Though she sat in the seat of the scorner, With diamonds and pearls at her throat, Whose worth might a battleship float, O’'er which artists or misers might gloat, Yet she sat in the dim-lighted corner And read what the suffragettes wrote— A tale full of tears and forlorner Than any the Duchess e’er wrote; And she rose up a modern reformer, Convinced that she wanted to vote— Determined to die or to vote. She rose to the need of the nation, And vowed something fateful and grim; Then, full of a new-found elation, She whispered her purpose to ‘‘Him."” And he told her her figure was trim, That her eyes would her diamonds be- dim. When she spoke of her high aspiration, He said she was graceful and slim. When she, in a grand peroration, Defended her Cause with a vim, He said that such fool conversation Was not entertaining to him. She might choose 'twixt her lord and her whim. The final decree of the judges Gave her not a cent to her name, For she read through the scratches and smudges That she had been wholly to blame— Most shamefully, surely, to blame!— Since man has a previous claim, And wants the whole pathway he trudges Toward politics, power and fame, And, rightly, ne’er sidesteps nor budges When women aspire to the game. Intended for playthings and drudges, They should be content with the same, No matter if logic is lame! Then, minus her jewels and laces, In the corner where lately she sat, She learned what the direful disgrace is Of life in a single-room flat— Of life in a cramped-up old flat— Of wearing a last-season’s hat. But bravely she bent to the traces, Distributed tracts and all that; She visited scores of queer places, Won converts—old, young, thin and fat; She lectured to seas of new faces, And earned for herself a new hat— A gorgeous and wonderful hat! They met once again on the ferry (No exits when once you're afloat), And she murmured, ‘I'm thankful—oh, very! For now I’m a person of note. My life to the Cause I devote, And—thank goodness!—in 'Frisco I vote Then he, quite manlike and contrary, Said, ‘‘Bless this old tub of a boat! I tell you, I’m proud of you, Mary! Here, just let me carry your coat. We will marry again, and be merry, The minute they dock this old boat In 'Frisco, where women all vote!’’ WELDING IN THE MISSING LINK. He’s now an accomplished exhorter And raves about Suffrage and Rights. She finds him a faithful escorter— A splendid protector o’ nights. (He saves her from feminine frights Near alleys without any lights.) Her loyal—and legal—supporter, He sets all her matters to rights. He interviews every reporter And censors the ‘‘story”’ each writes. He is ready to lead her cohort or To follow far off in the fights, As she battles for ‘‘Freedom’’ and “Rights."" E.R. Stillwell. Wit!. Miss Jane Addams seconding the nomination of Roosevelt and Mrs. C. P. Oberfield acting as proxy on the Wilson notification committee, it is evi- dent that the American sbffragette has reached a high plane in politics. TA OMAN Proverbs for Suffragists. The woman who hesitates is bossed. The laws that men bungle live after them. You cannot marry a wife and vote for her, too. The early word catches the public. Windows that cannot be broken must be insured. What is saucy for the goose is saucy for the gander. When women's rights are in the West, frightened men folk rule the best. Man is jack of all trades, but master of no woman. Anti-suffragists hear no good of them- selves, Too many men spoil the nation. Do not count your reforms until the laws are patched. If politicians were automobiles, we all could buy rides. A woman in politics is worth two in the matrimony bush. Necessity to vote is the mother of in- vective, A threadbare slavery is proof against conservatism. Law makers should not be law fakers. Half the approval of a husband is better than no. vote. Men rush in where women would tread softly. Lock the ballot box before corruption is stolen. Time and women wait for no man. One Legislature does not make a vic- tory. It takes two to make a family. A politician who lives in a glass house should not throw stones at suffragettes. While there is strife there is hope. Drowning men catch at conciliation. Boss is a good dog, but co-operation is better. Where there’s a woman there’s a way. Catch your ballot before you are nice to the men. It is said that barking ‘‘antis’’ seldom bite. A suffragette’s stone gathers no bail. Edith Livingston Smith, The Pessimistic Anti. “A. stenographer,’’ said Sneerwell, “seems to be the only woman to whom a man can dictate nowadays.’’ Woman will ultimately win. “a, comicbooks.com