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Judge, 1912-08-10 · page 22 of 24

Judge — August 10, 1912 — page 22: what you’re looking at

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Judge — August 10, 1912 — page 22: Judge, 1912-08-10

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertisements and humor vignettes** from Judge magazine, not a political cartoon. The "Stories with Smiles" section contains three brief anecdotes meant to amuse readers: 1. **"Meeting Emergencies"**: A joke about a short man trying to pass as a child on a train ticket, claiming his beard is a "mole"—absurdist humor based on deception. 2. **"A New Version"**: A tall tale about an extremely dry Kansas town where liquor is only dispensable if you've been bitten by a snake—the town's single snake becomes so exhausted from people seeking bites that it can't perform. 3. **"One on a Chicago Doctor"**: Appears incomplete but suggests a physician's car mishap while visiting Columbus. The rest of the page consists of hotel and beverage advertisements typical of 1920s Judge. The humor relies on wordplay, exaggeration, and absurdist scenarios rather than political satire, reflecting the magazine's lighter content alongside its satirical cartoons.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

$5.00 for 100 notices. . Avenue, New York. As A Pleasant Beverage and A Pure. Wholesome Tonic It Has No Equal. COMMONWEALTH HOTEL INC. Opposite State Howse Boston, Mass. Otters rooms h hot and cold water for $1. yand up, which includes free use of shower baths. Nothing to equal this in New England Rooms with private baths for $1.50 per day and up; suites of two rooms and bath for $4.00 per day and up. Dining Room and Cafe First-Class. European Plan. Absolutely Fireproof Stone floors; nothing wood but the doors. Equipped with its own sanitary vacuum cleaning plant. Strictly a Temperance Hotel Send for Booklet STORER F. CRAFTS, General Manager Press Cutting Burea will send you all newspaper clippin Thich may appear about you. your on waich you may want to be per and periodical of importance and Europe is searched. Terms, Henry RomEixe, 106-110 Seventh | The New Hotel Baldvsin BEACH HAVEN, N. J. Opens June 20th Accommodates 400 American Plan rnished and Modernierd Throughout. HOTEL IS DIRECTLY ON THE BEACH Wide Porches. L000 fret long. give unobstructed sn and bay and Is most attractively located | Marto hay. Fishing, Salling, Boating and Bathing ‘allroad communication via the Central RR of N tad Penna ie 1c,83-4 boure trom New York. ‘Write for Information and Mlustrated Booklet ESTATE OF CHARLES T. PARRY, Owner W. MERCER BAIRD, Manager TEST FOR YOURSELF Mix the best cocktail you know how —test it side by side with a Club Cocktail No matter how good a Cocktail you make you will notice a smooth- ness and mellowness in the Club Cocktail that your own lacks, Club Cocktails after accurate blending of choice liquors obtain their delicious flavor and delicate aroma by ageing in wood before A new cocktail can e the flavor of hattan, Martini and other dard blends, bottled, ready serve through cracked ice. Refuse Substitutes AT ALL DEALERS %. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Props. “Hartford New York ” London jo £P farecesd name and edifon vs THIS SUIT and Big Outfit of Judge Have a complete file of the cleverest humor- ous weekly published. It will be enjoyed by everyone at all times. Richly bound in maroon—half morocco. Holds fifty- two issues. Price $1.50, postpaid. JUDGE, 225 Fifth Ave., New York Stories with Smiles. Meeting Emergencies.—Senator Dixon was condemning a piece of political de- ception. “The thing was as flagrant,’’ he said, “tas the railway case. “Two men, one of them very short, were passing through a station toward the train gates, when the bigger one was heard to say, “I've took a half ticket fur ye, George. Yer so little ye'll pass, all But,’ protested George, ‘how about my beard?’ And he twiddled his chin beard nervously. “**Oh," rejoined the other, ‘tell ’em it’s a mole.’ ''—Minneapolis Journal, A New Version.—‘‘Talking about dry towns, have you ever been in Leaven- worth, Kan.?"’ asked the commercial traveler in the smoking car. ‘‘No? Well, that’s a dry town for you, all right.”” ‘They can’t sel liquor at #1] there?” asked one of the men. “Only if you have been bitten by a snake,"’ said the traveler. ‘They have only one sraké in the town, and when I got to it the other day, after standing in a line for nearly half the ce) it was too tired to bite.""—-Milwaukee Wisconsin, One on a Chicago Toctcr.— A Chicago physician motored to Coluntis, where he spent several days with friencs on the East Side. While cevrtewn one day he left his touring car starding in front of a hotel, and when be came out he saw the negro doorman standing back of the machine, laughing. “What's the giggle?’’ queried the doctor. “Nothing, boss,’’ answered the negro. “But you're a physician, aren't you?” “T thought so when I saw the red cross on the front of your machine; but if I owned that car, I'd take that sign off the back.'" The doctor went around to the rear and looked at the license tag. It read: **35,000 Ill."’"—Columbus Dispatch. To Make Them Smart.—Landlady— “You believe in mustard plasters, doc- tor?” M.D.—‘‘Rather! I always order them for patients who call me out in the mid- dle of the night when there’s nothing the matter with 'em."’—The Scalpel. The Right Qualifications.— Willis—‘'I suppose you think that baby of yours will become President some day?"’ Gillis—**Maybe not President, but he will be in the race after the nomination, all right. He keeps the whole place in an uproar, uses indescribable language, and can go without sleep for a week.” —Brooklyn Life. . Shallow.—Drug-store beauty isn't even skin deep.—Chicago Record-Her- ald. Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott's Bitters is made more delightful and healthful. Sample by mail, 25 cts. in stamps. C. W. Abbntt & Co. Baltimore, Md. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com