Judge — August 3, 1912 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“As Advertised.” «] AM GOING,’’ announced the sol- | emn summer boarder, coming out onto the piazza with his suit case. “Why, what is wrong?’’ said the qweet-faced old lady in her slow even voice. ‘Surely, everything is to your ing?” ON It is certainly not,’’ growled the boarder shortly as he plucked at his short mustache. ‘‘You are very much mistaken. Everything is wrong, very mich wrong. I have been grievously imposed upon.’” “Bat surely you have not been uncom- fortable?”” ; “No,” answered the boarder with a ferocious glare. “The beds were perfectly clean and fragrant with lavender?"’ Yes."” “The food was of the best. The milk and cream came fresh from our own cows and you had as much as you wanted. You had fruit from our orchards and vegetables that you could never hope to get in town.”” “Yes. Oh, yes,’’ snarled the boarder impatiently. “The house was all that it was adver- tised to be and more. I have never charged extras, though you did have your breakfast in bed and fresh-iced lemonade every night by your bedside.’’ “I'll admit all that,’’ growled the boarder growing more and more in- furiated. “There are no mosquitoes or other in- sects. You have had full use of the ten- nis court and the boat on the lake."’ “That may be, but’’—— “The other boarders have all been people of exceptional refinement,” con- tinued the dear old lady, her voice be- ginning to falter. ‘‘There have been no noisy children or flirting girls or grass widows or summer widowers or book agents in disguise or drummers getting tid of their last season's stock of stories or political enthusiasts or’’—— “T shall grow crazy," said the boarder raising his hands to the skies. “The house is five minutes from the depot. Meals are whenever you want. You can smoke all over the house. The lanes all round are blooming with flowers, The waterfall never stops tanning day and night. What more do you want?"’said the dear old lady begin- ning to lose her temper. ‘‘Is it not all asadvertised? Every word of it true?” “That's it,’’ said the summer boarder finding his voice and emitting it ina great bellow. ‘‘That’s it. It’s all true. Ihave been imposed upon. How in thunder, madam, do you expect a con- scientious author to find copy here? I haven’t found a single idea for my hovelette on summer boarding houses— ‘The Summer Bandits.’ You are, I re- gret to say, an unmitigated fraud,’’ and leaving her to find the moral, he lifted u his grip and his voice and wept bit- terly as he passed towards the depot at &run, Robert W. Sneddon. Now the soda fountain fizzeth All the live long day; And the ice-cream freezer frizzeth To inveigle dimes away. phe cou LIGHT BOTTLES develops a disagreeable odor and “‘skunky”’ taste. shipping. to keep out the light. tonics, as a builder of health. Gehl he Beer keeps bestim , BROWN BOTTLES When beer in light bottles is exposed to light. the beer All brewers even cover the hand-holes of the case before Schlitz in Brown Bottles won't spoil after the case is open. Pure beer, properly aged, will not cause biliousness. Physicians and surgeons prescribe Schlitz, instead of malt Order a case from your dealer today. See that crown or cork is branded “‘Schlitz.’” I will send as long as they last my 25. book That Made Milwaukee Famous. Pears — | Pears’ Soap is not medicated: just good, pure soap. Contains no free alkali to injure the | |delicate texture of the skin. _ Matchless for the complex- ion. Established in 1789. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be enpreciated. ‘110 WEST 42ed STREET, “STRONG ARMS” for 10c. in stamps or coin Mlastra PROF. ANTHONY BARKER, 1045 Barker Bids., NEW YORK comicbooks.com