Judge, 1912-08-03 · page 16 of 26
Judge — August 3, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main cartoon depicts a dialogue between a white colonel and "Aunt Hannah," an enslaved or formerly enslaved Black woman seeking a name for her grandson. The satire mocks the practice of naming Black children after prominent white American figures—Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, Taft, Bryan, Barnum—suggesting both aspiration and the absurdity of adopting these names indiscriminately. The humor relies on dialect stereotypes and Hannah's practical objections (e.g., Bryan would make the child "run de hull house"). The surrounding content includes "The Eternal Question" (a man's tired response to a woman's repetitive question), "The Fool's Mission" (verse about society's need for foolishness), and "A Scientific Defense" (a milkman's clever rebuttal about adulterated milk containing water, which technically matches the dictionary definition). The page reflects early 20th-century *Judge* magazine's mix of racial caricature, domestic humor, and social commentary targeting various targets—Black aspirations, courtship rituals, and commercial dishonesty.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UNT HANNAH had come to clean the colonel’s office. If one can look happy and worried at the same time, Aunt Hannah looked happy and worried. “Anything happened, Aunt Hannah?” asked the colonel. “Yassir. My daughtab Mirandy got anodder chile, suh.”” ‘*That’s good news, I hope?” “Yassir."" “Well, what's the matter, what's worrying you?’ “‘W'y kunnel, dis is de mattah. We kaint fin’ a propah name fo’ dat chile!"” “There are plenty of names, Aunt Hannah, though most of them have been used now and then.’” “Yassir.”” “All you have to do is to select a name that is euphonious and that fits the little one."’ “Yassir. I knows dat. I don’t keer so much bout de imphonious pa’at ob it. W'at I wants, kunnel, is a good name dat ebery niggah in town ain’t got.’’ “*Boy or girl?” ‘A boy, t’ank the Lawd, kunnel!’” “Good. Name him Abraham Lin- coln."” “‘Bress yo’ haht, kunnel, Mirandy’s fust born am Abe Lincum."’ ‘*Why not call him George Washing- ton?”’ “Well, yo’ sce, kunnel, we got one Gawge Washin’ton."” “Or Andrew Jackson. “*Got one ob dem, too. ‘Well, say Thomas Jefferson?" ‘‘Lawdy! My daughtah’s fif’ chile is Thomas Jefferson, kunnel!"’ “Ah! quite a historic progeny. But Julius Cesar was a great man, Aunt Hannah.”” “*Beggin’ yo’ pahdon, kunnel, Julius Comsar wuz a shif'lesscoot. He wuz ma fus’ husband!"’ then, “Well, Aunt Hannah, why not come down to contemporaneous times?"" “Wat's dat, kunnel?"" “I mean why not pick out the name of some distinguished person now living? What's the matter with Teddy or Theo- dore?"’ “*Yo’ means Mistah nel?” *Yes:"" ““W'y, kunnel, 'f we name de chile fo" him, dat chile’ll try fo’ to run de hull house w'en he gits growed!" “Or say Taft—call the baby William Taft Johnson."’ “‘Nussah! We dun discuss dat. We don’t want no fat man in de fambly.’* “Orsay Bryan—why wouldn’t William Jennings Bryan Johnson do?” “Huh! I jis heard a manonde street car say dat ‘Misto Bryan dun put de con We don’t want no con Roosenfelt, kun- in convention.’ man in de fambly."’ “Why not, then, go back again to THE ETERNAL QUESTION Summer belle— Jack, am I the only gitl you ever really loved ?"* Summer beau—"' Yes, darling (absent mindedly)—you all ask that same thing."” some prominent man of the past. Say Barnum. Phineas T. Barnum Johnson is an imposing cognomen, Aunt Han- nah,"" “Cose it is. it. I s'pose yo’ m man, kunnel?" *Yeust? “Well, we don't want t’ impose on no one, kunnel.’’ “Well, try again. ter with Ty Cobb?”’ “Huh! Dat's too common! “Well, Aunt Hannah, I've known a colored person with the name of John Smith. That’s a good name."’ “Smif? John Sm'f? Sho'ly dat's a good name! An’ w'at's mo,’ ez yo’ say, it’s unusual. Dat’s good enough fo’ me!"’ J. AL Waldron. The Fool's Mission. ‘By TERRELL LOVE HOLLIDAY. “This old world holds many a fool,"’ Quoth Mister Wise-and-staid. “Without the fool's gay, frothy drool,’’ The Cynic answer made, “*His care-free capers, aye, his crimes And witless deviltry, The world would have some dull gray times— If all were wise as we.’ Dat's jis de mattah wid leans dat ol’ show- What's the mat- we never A Scientific Defense. “You are charged with selling adul- terated milk,"’ said the judge. “So I understand, your honar,"’ said the milkman, ‘‘I plead not guilty.’ “But the testimony shows that your milk is twenty-five per cent. water," said the judge. “Then it must be high-grade milk,’’ returned the milkman, ‘‘If your honor will look up the word milk in your dic- tionary you will find that it consists of from eighty to ninety per cent. water. I'd ought to have sold it for cream." comicbooks.com