Judge — July 20, 1912 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T HE Resolutions for a Husband. By BL. SMITH RRESOEYED—That I will go to the club only when my wife has a theater party (a mere matter of buying tickets). That I will run for the car after I have caught it. Some other man might have got there first. (In case she don’t understand, I'll tell my wife every day that I love her.) To know nothing of women’s styles, except that last year’s things are ‘‘night- mares’’ and the latest creations “dreams.” To send my wife off on a vacation sometimes. She sees other women's husbands, and I don’t seem so bad. To try and make matches between the men in the office and my wife’s friends. Matches don’t go off unless they’re struck, To let my wife believe in woman suffrage if she wants to. Two votes are better than one, and she’s an easy mark. Not to bring men home to dinner without finding out first if there’s some- thing to eat in the house and a cook to cook it. To consult my wife about business affairs, but to leave household matters alone, save to offer sympathy and condo- lences. One flatters, one plays the mis- chief. Besides she has a rather clever little head. To show irritation over all bills but those of the milliner and dressmaker. They resemble low tide. Never to mention that my mother had acook stove. N. B. There are restau- Yants downtown. To look as well as my wife does, and to tell her she is as pretty as she is or isn't. To be late when I am going to meet her anywhere, and then fidget when she arrives soon after. To have business engagements when there are pink teas and housecleaning at home. Some flowers or a box of candy will cover a multitude of deception. To tell the children they will go to the dickens and be just like me if they don’t mind their mother. Then she will swear she wants them to be duplicates of their father. Not to let my wife think she is per- MO D E RN fect, for then she will be sure I am going to die. That after a quarrel it doesn’t matter whether I apologize or not as long as I can conscientiously say, ‘‘There, there,’’ and pat her shoulder. To remember that woman is ‘‘all a wonder and a wild desire.’ Bless her! IF SHE HAD HER WAY. Diversified Activity of the Sex. One of the distinguished sculptors of England is the Countess Feodora Glei- chen, a cousin of Queen Victoria. In America there are several women who have won fame in this field, once as- sumed to be man’s exclusively. One of the most famous mountain climbers and outdoor women in the world is Mrs. Mary Henshaw, honorary secretary of the Alpine Club of Canada, who recently went to England to lecture before the Royal Scottish Geographical Society. Here are art and endurance to woman's credit. And the other day a New York woman arrested her husband on the street and haled him to the police court without assistance. Here, it would seem, is a candidate for the police force at some future period when women shall be needed for that duty. Woman, in fact, in these days, seems to be able to rise to any emergency. WOM A N Who Shall Say? COUPLE in tke West have smi- cably settled a domestic problem, and the solution violates all the mascu- line traditions. After considering ways and means, it was mutually agreed that the wife was more competent than the husband to earn the living of both, and she enters upon that task outside the home, while he devotes himself to the housework. Here, indeed, is evidence that at least one woman is more than equal to the man with whom she engaged in a domes- tic partnership. And the case is re- markable in that there seems to have been no friction in the remarkable rear- rangement of duties end responsibilities. Now, if the man remains content in domestic service and cooks and keeps house in a way to suit the breadwinner, and the wife is pleased to continue the arrangement without staying out nights at clubs and neglecting her work for baseball and other diversions, who shall say that a new dispensation as to the sexes is impossible? Anti-suffrage. The hen has crooked her legs For her three weeks’ repose; In silence on her eggs, She does the best she knows. To be concerned these days Is not the rooster’s luck. Poor man! These human ways! Much cackle—but no cluck! Luvana Sheldon Striking, but Not Convincing. The best arguments used against woman suffrage at a recent meeting on the west side in New York were ‘apple cores, banana peels, and paper bags filled with water hurled at the orators. They hit the mark, but it is not known that they made any converts. Handed Down. The little boy who defined heredity as a spanking, because he had been told it was something little boys got from their parents, was not far wrong, after all. A spanking is, beyond doubt, something that is ‘‘handed down from father to son."’