Judge, 1912-07-20 · page 16 of 26
Judge — July 20, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two separate humorous pieces from *Judge* magazine: **"His Tender Heart"** satirizes automotive-age hypocrisy. A motorist kills a rooster while driving and his wife praises his "tender heart," claiming he'll want to go back and pay for the damage. However, the husband admits he actually wanted to kill the hen too—revealing his supposed compassion as performative. The joke mocks people who display moral virtue publicly while being indifferent or callous privately. **"In California"** is a brief joke about a tourist mistaking a wheat field for trees, playing on the idea of California's agricultural abundance or the tourist's ignorance. The page also includes minor items: a "Book Note" criticizing a new *Who's Who* edition for lacking narrative improvement, and "Repartee" about a woman claiming she "suspended" her answer to a marriage proposal—a witty non-answer to a direct question.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IN CALIFORNIA. Towrist—** What kind of trees are those ?’" Native—‘ Trees! Say, boss, that 's winter wheat you 're looking at."* His Tender Heart. THEY were going along the public highway at a leisurely rate of forty miles per hour, when a decrepit hen and rooster started to do the chicken specialty—cross the road. The front and hind wheels on the right side struck the poor, old, stiff-jointed rooster amid- ships, and with one squawk he succumbed. Immediately the man at the steering wheel started to slow down and to look about for a place to turn, His solicitous wife turned to her seatmate and said, “Isn't that just like his tender heart? He won't be satisfied unless he goes back and settles for that rooster. He just can’t bear to feel he has injured any one or anything."” thing.” “George, remember that appointment. We haven't any time to go back for any- Glancing at the clock near his feet and at the speedometer near by, he sighed and said, “You're right, Jennie; JL / but I just know, if I had turned back, I could have ——_—. killed that old hen just as easy as I did the roost- er!’ —sirtland Gillian, Book Note. The new edition of “‘Who’s Who’ has just come to hand, but, while it is still full of interest- ing characters, we must admit that it shows no improvement in the mat- ter of plot. Repartee. Mrs. Benham—“'Do you remember that I gave you no decided an- swer the first time you proposed ?"’ Benham —‘‘I_ remem- A gentleman of many lines There came along a gust of wind ber that you suspended Then louder, to her hus- band, she said, Went walking out one day, A NEW ALIGNMENT. And blew him right away. sentence.”” comicbooks.