Judge — July 20, 1912 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN OLD SONG ILLUSTRATED. “ High Lee, High Lo!’ My Affinity. DON’T know where she is at all—she may be up on Mars. It may be she has stopped to call at sundry other stars. I don’t know if she’s dark or fair, a blonde or deep brunette. The color of her eyes and hair I’ve not discovered yet. She may be fat, she may be lean, for aught I chance to know. Her temper may be as serene as the undriven snow, or it may be as seething hot as pepper of Cayenne—these little points as yet are not at all within my ken. She may be tall, she may be short— the truth I can’t disclose. It may be she’s the simple sort with freckles on her nose, or maybe she’s one of those girls who have expensive tastes, who wear some sixty-‘leven curls and ninety- dollar waists. The fact is, I've not met her yet, this fair twin soul of mine; and though sometimes I feel regret, at others I opine, considering the flabby state I’m in financially, it’s just as well for my soulmate and better far for me! A, Sufiran Mane, Modern Improvement. When Claude Duval and Captain Kidd Scoured heaths and swept the main, 'Twas thought no robbers quite so bold Would ever come again; But Claude and Kidd were amateurs, Though clever on the nab, And never could have pulled the stunts Laid to the taxicab. JAW. Intensely Interested. Suffragette—‘'I read every line of the presidential convention doings. Women should know how these things are done.” Ordinary woman—‘‘Of course! So did I. Weren't some of the women’s costumes just stunning?”’ SIMPLICITY OF DRESS. Assertive wife—'‘ John Henry, I need a new gown, hat, shoes, gloves, lace collar, and feather boa."" Husband —‘‘ Oh! that for?" Assertive wife— Tuesday next I lecture on ‘The Simplicity of Dress.’ "* Why—why, what's all ee The Way of It. Last month ‘twas Kate, the month before He voiced the graces of Camilla; Last week ’twas Jean, to-day he swore There was no maiden like Drusilla. 'Tis not that he’s a fickle wight, That one sweet lass he does not cling to; But in his muse he takes delight, And has to have a maid to sing to! Nathan M. Levy. “Exclamatory" Was Right. Mrs. Mason’s colored washerwoman, Martha, was complaining of her hus- band’s health. “Why, is he sick, Martha?’ asked Mrs. Mason, ‘*He’s ve'y po'ly, ma’am, ve’y po'ly,”” answered the woman. He's got the exclamatory rheumatism.”’ “‘You mean inflammatory, Martha,’’ said the patron. ‘‘Exclamatory means to cry out.’’ “Yes, ma’am,’’ replied Martha, with conviction; ‘‘dat's what itis. He hol- lers all the time.’’ The Joy of the Chase. My wife’s the kind of shopper Whose virtues I would sing— Naught ever seems to stop her, And she never buys a thing! “Jones seems to have sworn off for keeps. How did it happen?” “His wife had a moving picture made of his last jag and let him see it.”” comicbooks.com