Judge, 1912-06-29 · page 14 of 25
Judge — June 29, 1912 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical jokes typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines. The content mocks social conventions and contemporary types: **"Money and Matrimony"** satirizes a woman who rejects wealth but marries someone richer, exposing hypocrisy about mercenary marriage motives. **"At the Polo Game"** jokes about class signifiers—polo as an exclusive sport—and the woman's contradictory demands. **"Not Edible"** mocks newly wealthy people (Mrs. "Newleyrich" is transparently named) who lack cultural refinement, unable to read a menu and mistaking orchestra music for food. **"Her Theory"** plays on servant-class dialect and suggests a maid's deflection about entertaining a policeman. **"The Pessimistic Lover"** uses a flower's "blushing" for a cynical joke about high prices—common satire about commercial excess. The small illustration labeled "Antique Love" depicts Samson and Delilah in classical/biblical reference. Overall, these jokes target wealth disparities, social climbing, cultural pretension, and romance—standard Judge magazine fare.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Money and Matrimony. AT THE POLO GAME. She—" 1 shall never marry a man who can't play if HAD money; Kitty hadn't. polo"? I was sure that wealth would win, He—"* Very well, I'll learn to ride For to marry money isn’t, break my neck?" In these days, the greatest sin. So I asked her confidently, And to my extreme surprise Kitty said she scorned my money, With her nose turned to the skies. Kitty scorned the wealth I offered! Kitty, poor as she could be, Turned her nose up to the heavens—- Turned my wealth down scornfully! Men and women, did you ever Think a woman was so bold As to brave the world’s opinion Of the winning power of gold? Kitty, Kitty! How she fooled me! Yet she meant me no offense, For the wad of him she married Made mine look like fifteen cents! Wed Lampton Cozy. Madge—‘Isn't that a very small hammock you're taking with you on your vacation?” Marjorie—"'Oh, it will hold two at a squeeze !"” In Paris. “*How do you know she is an Ameri- can?” ANTIQUE LOVE. “I heard her talking French."* Samson and Delilah. Bat suppose I She—"* Oh, there always are survivors."" Not Edible. Mrs. Newleyrich, the wife of a multi- millionaire, was dining in a fashionable hotel recently, and being unable to pro- nounce the names of dishes, she pointed to a line on the menu and said to the waiter, ‘*Please bring me some of that.’’ “I'm sorry, madam,"’ replied the waiter, ‘‘but the orchestra is just play- ing that.”” Her Theory. “Agnes,” said the mistress, one morning, to her cook, ‘‘how was it I saw you entertaining a policeman at supper last night?”” “IT dunno,”’ replied the giil, ‘‘unless you was peepin’ through the keyhole, mum. The Pessimistic Lover; As they halted in front of the florist’s, she cried, “Oh, the blush on that beautiful rose!’" “It is blushing,'’ her pessimist lover replied, “At the price, I suppose.”” Geraldine—'‘What did pa say when you asked him for my hand?”’ Gerald—‘*He gave me a delightful travel talk.’ comicbooks.com