Judge, 1912-06-22 · page 11 of 24
Judge — June 22, 1912 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four separate humorous sketches typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: 1. **"Looks the Part"**: A visitor mistakes an elderly cat for a kitten; the joke is the cat stays out so late that the father jokes they'll need to give it a latch-key (house key)—comparing the cat's behavior to a dissolute human. 2. **"Too Much Confidence"**: A working-class employee boasts to a stranger about fooling his boss with excuses. The punchline: the stranger is actually Battleheimer, his boss's son—exposing the foolishness of his bragging. 3. **"Another Bank Failure"**: Social gossip about a woman who lifted her skirts immodestly high while showing off her stockings, resulting in theft—satirizing vanity and impropriety. 4. **"Romeo and Juliet"**: A parody of Shakespeare where Romeo arrives at Juliet's window not for romance but because he left his umbrella on the balcony. The closing joke mocks husbands avoiding home because wives and bars both close at midnight. The page satirizes human folly, workplace dynamics, social pretension, and domestic life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LOOKS THE PART. Visitor—‘* What a cunning kitty! How old is he?’ Little girl—"" Oh, he's quite old, and he 's not a kitty. Why, He's a real grown-up cat. he comes home so late nights that pa says we ‘Il have to get him a latch-key."* Too Much Confidence. “Tae young fellow with the ink marks on his fingers edged over to the nattily dressed youth with whom he was sharing the bleacher seat. “I told the boss,’’ he began confiden- tially, “that same old yarn about my dead aunt to get to the game, and he never said a word. Battleheimer, his name is. Regular old skinflint, too; but I know how to pull the wool over his eyes, and, believe me, I never lose a chance todo it. By the way, did you give your boss the same story?’ ““No"’—— “Played sick, I guess? that.’” **No"’—— “Told him you had private business to attend to, maybe? I work that game, too.”” “No —— “Had some one telephone and say your father was dying? That's one of my favorites.’’ “No; I’—— “‘What did you tell him? Must be a new one on me.” “] didn’t tell him anything. I'm Battleheimer’s son!"" I often do Another Bank Failure. “Shameless hussy! Good enough for her!"’ cried Prissy Primm. “‘Who? What?’ asked Pert Penelope. “‘Why,’’ said Prissy, ‘‘that Mrs. Gadby, while trying to show off her em- broidered hose, carried her skirts so high that some one picked her stock- ing.”” He Didn't Know. Old lady—‘‘Could you direct me to the Second Baptist Church?"’ Old boy—‘‘Why, really—I am sorry, lady, but I don’t even know where the First is.” Romeo and Juliet. A dark, dreamy silence wrapped the castle in its soft embrace. The moon, clear and full, sailed tranquilly through the star-sown heavens, and the sweet scent of orange groves was wafted through the midnight breeze. Yet the dark-cloaked figure that walked softly up the graveled path saw none of the soft, calm beauty of the summer night. He raised the brass knocker with a quick, imperative touch. After a wait of ten minutes or more, Juliet answered the summons; but the candle she held nearly dropped from her hands as she beheld the face of her mid- night visitor. “Romeo, Romeo!’’ she ex- claimed in amazement. ‘‘Is there any one-ill at your house?”’ “‘No,’’ replied Romeo, in a soft, low, guarded whisper. “I left my umbrella in the balcony." —Frant A. Howood. “*Why doesn’t he go home?”” “Because neither his wife nor the saloons shut up at mid- night.’”” comicbooks.com