Judge, 1912-06-15 · page 11 of 28
Judge — June 15, 1912 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Interrupted Proposal"** (top cartoon) satirizes political photography during campaigns. The joke: a soldier proposing to a woman is interrupted by a photographer capturing an unflattering angle. The accompanying text explains that newspapers deliberately publish the ugliest candidate photos—mouths agape, eyes shut—because readers find them amusing. Photographers who obtain the most unflattering images receive raises. This mocks the emerging practice of sensationalist political coverage and the public's appetite for embarrassing imagery of political figures. **"A Political Convention"** is a humorous alliterative list mocking the chaotic absurdity of political conventions: self-serving politicians, lazy operatives, drunken attendees ("thirsty throngs taking toddies"), incompetent nominees, and newspapers reporting nothing substantive. It satirizes the entire convention process as theater rather than serious governance. **"As Happy as Kings"** uses the common phrase "happy as kings" to argue Americans are already monarchs—"cattle kings," "copper kings," railroad magnates—so why complain? It's gentle satire of wealthy industrialists and the ironic gap between democratic ideals and actual power distribution.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Oh, Johnny, run quick, and get the oil can. pool, as they have nothing to do but file the stuff. The newspaper photographers take pictures of the speaker in every conceivable pose, and only the homeliest pictures are published in the papers. The photographer who succeeds in get- ting the ugliest picture, showing the candidate's mouth open widest and his. eyes shut tightest, is given an increase of salary, and an art-loving public reads in the magazines about his work. It’s all amazingly simpleenowadays.”’ “I should say it is,’ said the old poli- tician, picking up his fishing tackle. “I’m glad I didn’t live to see all the cherished political institutions of my youth pulled down, stone by stone—all the picturesque features removed from politics by the insidious growth of a cold commercialism—all the’’—— But the stranger had picked up his suit case and had moved on to a plat- form where the Hades customs inspector was making a vain effort to prove him- self as much of a pest as-his Yankee prototype. The politician, like the weather vane, points the way the wind blows. THE INTERRUPTED PROPOSAL. A Political Convention. Able arguers asking attention. Politicians pushing platform planks. Old orators offering opinions. Loud leaders lauding labor. Impish idiots imparting information. iresome tyros talking tariff. Ingenious insurgents initiating issues. Crowds cheering chief candidates. Active agitators alarming amateurs. Lackeys lubricating lazy log-rollers. Curious canards causing caucuses. Opulent octopi offering opportunities. Noisy natives numbering nutables. Veterans voicing voters’ views. Everybody evading earnest effort. Nameless ninnies nominating nobodies. Thirsty throngs taking toddies. Indolent impostors imitating industry. Obstructionists openly obeying orders. Notorious newspapers narrating nothing. Dufy. The Common Fraction. Her husband—'The census officials state that the average family consists of four and a fraction persons. How do you account for the fraction?”’ His wife—‘‘Oh, that is the husband.’’ Sir Agraraine’s knees are rusty, and he can’t get up!"" “As Happy as Kings.” “‘As happy as kings’’—you have often heard this, A simile used to mean absolute bliss. If the simile’s good—and I won't say it’s not— What possible cause for complaint have we got? This republic of ours is a warren of kings— Absolute monarchs of all sort of things. Cattle kings, copper kings, lords of the earth; Even our vaudeville has ‘‘monarchs of mirth,” It’s true that our merchants are princes, but they Will probably get to be monarchs some day. Meanwhile, we have plenty of all other sorts— Railroad kings, kings of the coal and the quartz. Why, we're all of us kings—so the can- didates say When elections are near. anyway, That ‘‘this land is so full of a number of kings I'm sure things It’s a fact, should all_be the happiest Charles H. Mactinsesh. Every badge man has his inning. comicbooks.com