Judge — June 8, 1912 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Probably. HE witness testified that he had been knocked down by a motor car, and that the chauffeur, who was joy-riding, had given no warning of his approach, “Do you mean,"* asked the judge, ‘that he didn’t have a horn?” “No, your honor, plied the witness. ‘‘I think he'd had too many.”” Too Late. A farmer one day noticed two boys looking with cov- etous eyes at his tempting fruit, so he ordered them away. Some time after- ward, when he returned, he saw the boys astride of his orchard fence. “Didn't I tell you,’* he roared, ‘‘that you couldn’t come in here?"’ “We're not coming in,’ answered one of the boys, whose pockets were bulg- ing suspiciously; ‘‘we’re going back.”” Criticised. Uncle Ezra—'‘They have just discovered that the bank cashier has had aweak heart for ten years past.’” Unele Eben—‘‘There’s government supervision for you! Bank examiner has been coming here all this time and just found it out!”” re- THEORY AND PRACTICE Relevant. Prue—‘Did the bride get a pearl necklace from the groom?"" Hugh—*No—boxing gloves. She married her second husband again."" VOL XXIIN-NO, 23. row?"” | Pere TWO ANGLEWORMS~ 14 Z DAILY SUN Johnnie Bass has joined @ grand opera company. Minnie Perch is euing her husband, Frank Perch, for divorce. She alleges that he has a Sole mate Willie Shark is still at the head of his class in school. Jennie Minnow was seen going down the Pike Sun- day. She seemed in a hur- ry. Freddie Dogfish is sport ing a new muzzle. At the annual convention of the Whitefish society Saturday the Black Bass club was taken in os an af- filiated organization. The color line is fast disappear- ing. As we go to press the Bluefish still has his grouch. Mrs. Red Snapper has a gorgeous party frock. Brook Trout did spectac- ular work catching flies Saturday, He is said to be acandidate for one of the big leagues. Mra, Jellyfish and Mrs, Halibut had an altercation Tuesday, and the former called the latter a Cat. Mrs. Halibut retaliated by stating that no matter what her enemies might have to say against her, they at least could not ac- cuse her of having no back- bone. Mra. Jellyfish bo- came considerably peeved. The Storkfish visited the Shrimp home last night. ‘The little Shrimp is doing nicely An Fel selling angleworm industrial stock has come totown. He is said to bea smooth proposition. It is understood that Mr. Sucker contemplates investing. Donald A. Kahn. A Surplus Crop. Hewes—'‘How is it that Wildboy’s sons all walk in the straight and nar- Crewes—‘‘Oh, they feel that their father sowed wild oats enough for the whole fam- ily.” New Employment. Hesler—‘‘What is that boy who used to run your elevator doing?” Sanless—‘‘He’s an an- nouncer for an egg dealer.”’ Hesler—‘' An announcer; what's that?” Sanless—-*Why, in the winter he hollers, ‘Going up,’ and in the spring, ‘Going down.’"* Quite a Man. Howell—‘‘ What sort of a fellow is he?’’ Powell—‘‘He can make two lemons grow where only one grew before and then hand them both to you when you are not looking.’* Not So Serious. Post—‘*Yuur rich uncle was set upon by a bull.’” Parker—‘Where?"”’ Post—‘‘At his country place.”’ Parker—“‘Good! I was afraid it was in Wall Street."’ comicbooks.com