Judge, 1912-06-08 · page 22 of 24
Judge — June 8, 1912 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon satirizes the 1912 presidential election with the caption "Who will be the next President? He won't be happy, till he gets it!" A baby in a bathtub clutches a Pears Soap box, appearing to represent a political candidate obsessed with winning office. The image mocks the undignified scrambling and desperation of presidential aspirants—reducing them to infants demanding gratification. The rest of the page consists of advertisements (High Life Beer, Cortes Cigars, The Sagamore hotel) and two humorous prose pieces: "Ixtlilxochitl" by Ellis Parker Butler satirizes flowery pseudo-historical Mexican poetry with deliberately unpronounceable Aztec names and absurd romantic verse; "Why They Eat Muskrat" jokes about French-Canadian Catholic logic reclassifying muskrat as "vegetable" to circumvent Friday meat restrictions. The satire targets both political vanity and ethnic/religious cultural practices.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
be the next President ? THE CHAMPAGNE Or BoTTLED BEER 7 HIGH LIFEBEER MILLER-MILWAUKEE OF BRAINS | ROMEIKE’S Press Cutting Bureau will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear abnut you, your 8. or any subject 3/2 which you may want to be “uptodate.” Every newspaper and periodical of importance in. the “MADE AT KEY WEST United States and Europe is searched. Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. Henry ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Avenue, New York, AKE GEORGE, the grandest lake in the State of New York, unsurpassed scenery, a marvel in beauty and the gateway of The Adirondacks. The Sagamore, meaning “* Big Chief, ‘a hotel emphat- ically unique in arrangement, a place you must see, stay awhile, meet the people and you will not want to leave; contentment will be your lot. Try it, and ask those who have been — there. Finest Automobile roads in the section; rest, quietness and plenty to do at the same time. T. Edmund Krumbholz, P. 0. Sagamore, N. Y. The Kirkwood, Camden, 8. C. Hotel Montctair, Montclair, M. J. —~—“A 7] rr a = In answering udvertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. Ixtlilxochitl. By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER. Now THAT attention is turned to- ward Mexico, it is meet that the historian should say a kind word in memory of the boy scrapper of 1516, gentle Ixtlilxochitl, otherwise known as Pied-Type. Born in 1500, not far from the village of Ixtapalapa, in full sight of the massive mountain of Ixtaccihuatl, a descendant of the great chief Izcohuatl, this young man was always a friend of the white man. As he said to Cortez, when he first saw him on Mexi- can soil, ‘I’m with you. I will aid you. Any time you want part of my name to file a saw with you can have it.” It was this touching fidelity to the white race that has made the name of Ixtlilxochitl a household word through- out Mexico. It is the name the infant lisps in the cradle and the old man gasps ashe totters to the grave. It is the name the strong man uses to grind his corn and the woman opens the can of succulent tomatoes with. It is the word that inspires the national poet when he bursts into that burning rhapsody en- titled ‘‘Ixtlilxochitl on Ixtaccihuatl.’’ But let the poet speak: “On Ixtaccihuat! Ixtlilxochit! stood Below him Ixtacamaxtitlan lay, And Eloxochitlan and Tlachichilco Observed the break of day. “From Zacapoaxtla to Cosamaloapan His troops victorious were, But did he think of Coatzcoalcos? Ah, no! He thought of her! “In Hidaglotitlan men might wait, Ixtlilxochitl—where was he? On Ixtaccihuat! near Popocatapetl He stood and thought of she. “In Tlamixlahuaca, he thought, On the Totomislahuaca side, She waits for me, she longs for me, Ixtaccigotitlahuatlapaptl, my bride! ” Why They Eat Muskrat. At Monroe, Mich., the rather large population of French Catholics eat muskrat meat on Friday, an exception to Catholic precedent which is explained in the following way by Mose Meuse, an old-timer: “Wan time, many years ago,’’ he says, ‘‘French priest she say we can eat muskrat on Friday, because muskrat— she ees not meat. Muskrat—she sweem in water, so she ees no animal. She ees not feesh, by Gar, because she walk on land. No feesh, no animal, so she must be some kind of vege-taable, by Gar—an’ we eat heem on Friday.”’ Never be sure unless you know. 22 comicbooks.com