Judge, 1912-05-25 · page 8 of 24
Judge — May 25, 1912 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces: **"Handing Him One"** (top left cartoon): A simple workplace joke. A pedestrian confronts a workman about dropping a brick on his head. The workman's dismissive response—"All right. I've got lots more of 'em"—mocks working-class indifference to safety hazards, a common target of Judge's humor about labor and class. **"Dolly Don't"** (main story): A phonetically-written narrative (mimicking immigrant or rural dialect for comedic effect) describes a child witnessing her sister flirting with a boy named Harold. The satire targets female behavior: the sister simultaneously resists and encourages his advances, then acts offended when successful. The child blackmails Harold with silence for increasing amounts of money. The moral condemns women's perceived dishonesty while ironically praising men's. **"Mr. Gottrock's Home"** (bottom): Before-and-after images showing an estate transformed from a grand castle to rubble, captioned as the result of taking up aviation—humor about early aviation's dangers and the wealthy's reckless hobbies. The magazine's tone reflects early 20th-century gender stereotypes and class attitudes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HANDING HIM ONE Pedestrian —“* Hey, you! Do you know you dropped a brick that almost hit me on the head ?"" Workman—" All right. Oi ‘ve got lots more av 'em."* Dolly Don’t. By BARBARA BLAIR. T IZ far harder for a nedle to go thru the eye of a kamel than for an ino- cent litle child to fathum the mind of a wuman. To-day I wuz walking sadly ovur the laun tryin to eskape the hartles gayety of afternune tea wen my atenshun wuz atrackted to a klump of bushes from wich kame a Voce and the Voce sed O, yu musent. Then thare wuz silense and then the Voce spoke agen and sed, Now Harold dere dont. And my kureosity wuz aroused and I peped thru the bushes and saw Harold Harris trying to kis my big sistur, and sistur wuz strugling orful hard not tu let him kis her and saying O How dare yu? but she kept forgeting to turn her face away, and wen Harold wud stop trying tu kis her for a short brething Yees kin kape ut. space, instead of geting up and goin whare she cud say O, How dare yu? frum a safe distunc, she wud sit stil and smile at him until madened by her buty he wud begin trying agen. And it is these strange ackshuns on my sistur’s part wich promps my open- ing remarks. For why shud a girl hold up her lips tu a man and then say O Yu musent wen he trys to kis them? And why shud she say unto him Go away and sit stil herself? And why shud a girl du everything in her power tu make a man kis her and then berts intu teres wen he finaly suckceeds and say, Go I kan never fele the same tu yu agen? And becos my sistur omited the im- portant eyetem of turning away her face, Harold sune ackomplisht his ob- jeck. And my sistur wuz just luking for her handkerchief wen I stept in frunt of them and sed politely I hope I dont intrude. And Harold sed in a sar- kastic tone O dont menshun it and I luked thortful and sed I wont if I re- member not to. And then they both luked woried and Harold held up a big silver dolar and sed du yu think this wud help yu tu remem- ber? And I shuk my hede and sed Ime afrade not. And thay luked woried agen and Har- old held up a tu dolar bill and sed Du yu think this wud help yu tu remember? HER LEGACY “* Did your busband leave you much ?"* **Oh, about once a week, on an average."" And I luked thortful agen and sed It mite help me tu remember a litle wile. And Harold side and mutured that imposible child and puled out a five dolar bill. And my eyes glemed and I sed I think that will help me tu remember un- til I forget the unfortunet insident. And I tuk the bil and walked hastilee away before he had time to change his mind. And I ment tu be perfeckly honurable and not tele anybody the terable skandal I had sene, but my big bruther Wil saw the bil sticking out of my sash and he got it out of me. I dont mene the bil I mene the truth. Morrall: It iz far harder for an ino- cent litle child to koncele the truth than it is for a man to tele it. % MR. GOTTROCK'S HOME, BEFORE AND AFTER HE TOOK UP AVIATION. comicbooks.com