Judge, 1912-05-25 · page 12 of 24
Judge — May 25, 1912 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early 20th-century marital deception through a modern technological lens. Mr. Updyke has secretly obtained a **dictaphone** (voice recording machine) identical to his wife's and rigged a fake conversation between two machines to trick her. The joke: Mrs. Updyke had secretly recorded a phone conversation with a drug clerk gossiping about her neighbor's romantic interests. Suspecting infidelity, she purchased the dictaphone to spy on her husband. Updyke discovered this through the clerk, then turned the tables by manufacturing false evidence of his own affair—complete with a fabricated boat purchase as a "surprise gift." The satire targets several things: the absurdity of mechanical eavesdropping technology, marital suspicion and distrust, and the irony that technology meant to catch lies only enables more elaborate deceptions. "Cinderella" likely references the rags-to-riches transformation of deception itself. The sidebar showing absurd collar designs provides comedic relief, lampooning fashion excess.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Not quite, dear,’’ was the answer. “Do you mind waiting until I unwrap this package?” Mrs. Updyke waited in surprise and suspense while her husband produced a machine that was a duplicate of her own, ‘‘Now,"’ said Mr. Updyke, “‘let’s have a duet."" He ‘placed his machine on a table near that occupied by his wife's. Both were turned loose and the following dialogue took place: “Broad 4-9-2 7. Harry?" “Hello, Updyke “Well, is everything ready for the party?”’ “TL guess so. working order." “She is, is she? Good!"’ “Yes. She runs like a watch. I haven't got her all painted yet.” “Oh, I don’t mind about the paint! I suppose. she’s got lots of speed.” “Sure! She runs best when she has a good, heavy load on."” “At her’ best when she has a good load on, hey? Well, we'll take care of that.’" “You want to be careful and keep her well oiled. The engine's stiff when it’s new, you know."” “Yes, I'm always careful to treat a new one nicely."" Hello! That you, The boat is in fine CINDERELLA “By the way, I’ve painted the name Dolly on her bow “Dolly, hey wife’s name. Fine! That's my P THE NEWEST COLLARS. 1. The Gouge—The only real rival of the deadly hat ment for pipe. cigar or cig- arette. 5. The Cletch—To be but toned to hat band at back during windy periods. By a deft movement of the mus cles of the neck it can be made to tip hat without use of hands. 2. The Cafeteria—For use at quick lunch counters and soda fountains. Front ¢ be rolled down. butte to coat and employed napkin. 4, The Straphaneer—Espe- cially fashionable among commuters and patrons of the subway during rush hours 6. The Asto— Designed to wear in place of goxgles while motoring. —Sf.-— 3 a= ee Te LOM SK “That so? She's thirty-two feet long and draws five feet three inches of water."" ‘Thirty-two and five feet three, you say? Why, she’s a twin sister to the last one I had—the one that went to pieces, you know. Say, but my wife will be wild when she sees her! Well, be sure and have her ready Saturday afternoon. “py!” “Good-by, Updyke!’” “Well, my dear, suspecting child,” said Mr. Updyke, when the whirring of the dictagraph records had ceased, “are you pleasantly surprised?” Good- Mrs. Updyke maintained a painful silence. “You see, it was this way. I hap- pen to know the man who sold you the dictagraph. I lunched with him yesterday, in fact, and he told me of your visit. I got this machine, took it to my friend, Harry Green, of whom I am buying a motor boat as a surprise for you, and arranged our conversation beforehand. I have also in the confidence of your friend, the drug clerk, who told me of the interest taken in my move- ments by our neighbor across the way. You darling, that two sides of a story are better than one. By the way, don't forget that we I smelled a rat. been see, comicbooks.com