Judge, 1912-05-18 · page 9 of 24
Judge — May 18, 1912 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on two topics: **"The Horrorscope"** (left): A poem mocking fortune-tellers and "seers" who annually predict catastrophe—earthquakes, wars, plagues, assassinations, famine. The satire's point: these predictors recycle identical doom-laden forecasts year after year simply to earn income through sensationalism. They profit from fear while their predictions never materialize. **"From Earth to Sky"** (center): Appears to be an aviation-related photo series, though context is unclear without full caption. **"As to Isms"** (right): A humorous poem defining "-isms" (ideologies, philosophies) as hollow constructs—"heated air" and "phrases windy"—that vary wildly in church and politics. The joke: an "-ism" is often merely "an ain't-m" (negation dressed up). **"Couldn't Trust Him"** (bottom right): A racist joke using a dehumanizing slur, depicting an African American character as inherently dishonest. This reflects deeply offensive period stereotyping. The page overall satirizes false prophets, empty ideologies, and contains period-typical racist content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Horrorscope. HE “‘seers"’ have done their very worst, Just as they’ve always done; They're certain now the old earth's curst, Its troubles just begun. For months full many there'll not be For it the slightest hope— According to the things they ‘‘see’ In this year’s horrorscope. Earthquakes shal] shock and storms shall blow, And there'll be wars and plagues; And nations shall the cup of woe Drain to the bitter dregs. The world had just as well submit, For it could never cope With all the e down for it In this year’s horrorscepe. And kings and queens shall feel the stroke Of the assassin’s han Great cities shall go up in smoke, And famine smite the land. In desolation’s dreadful night We're doomed to blindly grope— If ‘‘seer’’ and ‘‘seeress"” ‘‘see’’ aright In this year’s horrorscope. But don’t forget the ‘‘seers’’ have said The same old thing before; They've earned their daily meat and bread (And some a great deal more) By getting up year after year This same old line of dope; Their stock disasters reappear In this year’s horrorscope. James Ravens FROM EARTH TO SKY. As to Isms. A very strange and queerish thing is what they call an ‘‘ism.’’ Itoften has a hollow ring and colors like a prism. Sometimes it’s made of heated air, sometimes of phrases windy, and nothing to it can compare for kicking up a shindy. In church and politics 'tis found, so widely does it vary; and often, also, ’mongst renowned pen - wielders_ literary. 'Tis tacked to this, ’tis tacked to that. Sometimes its travel fleet is, and frequently it lays us flat as mumps or laryngitis. ’Tis not ex- actly a disease, nor is it always healthy. ‘Tis favored where there’s little ease, and frowned on by the wealthy. There’s isms broad and liberal, there’s isms puritanic; on some we rise, on others fall, and most are quite tyrannic, And stran- gest of its ways we see when we set out to paint 'em, and ism is less fre- quently an ism than an ain’t-m. Horace Dodd Gartit, Couldn't Trust Him. Judge—*Why didn’t you stop beat- ing him when he cried ‘Enough'?”’ Sambo—"*W'y, ye see, sah, dat niggah is sich aliah, ye can’t nevah beliebe ’im."" A check in the pocket is worth more than two promoters’ promises. comicbooks.com