Judge, 1912-05-18 · page 8 of 24
Judge — May 18, 1912 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four separate humorous pieces satirizing early 20th-century American society: **"Progressive Economy"** mocks wealthy women's illogical spending: a woman economizes by making her own dress, then immediately spends extravagantly on a $40 hat, $20 parasol, gloves, and $60 gown to "match" her homemade outfit—defeating the purpose of economizing. **"An Ordeal"** humorously depicts "Bach" Smith's social awkwardness when visiting a newborn, repeatedly confusing the baby's gender and getting pronouns wrong. **"A Truthful Story-teller"** shows a child insisting he saw fish "laying" on the ocean floor during a glass-bottom boat trip; his mother corrects the grammar ("lying"), and he stubbornly maintains his factual claim was correct. **"Who's Afraid?"** features a porcupine challenging an automobile driver, playing on contemporary anxiety about the new automobile technology and reckless drivers. The page reflects early 1900s concerns: conspicuous consumption, social etiquette confusion, children's honesty, and emerging automobile culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The girl with norhing a year; with $5,000 2 year; with $5,000,000 a year Progressive Economy. 'OR simon-pure economy she surely set the pace. She made her own cheap dress at home and trimmed it with old lace; And then to match the lace she bought a forty-dollar hat, And a twenty-dollar parasol to harmonize with that. To give the hat a jaunty cast, she needed much new hair, And then her gloves were out of tone, and so she got a pair; And next she bought some dainty shues —ten dollars more or less— And last asixty-dollar gown—then threw away the dress! w G. Daty An Ordeal. “*Bach'’ Smith had been invited in to look at the new-born babe of friend Jones, and having forgotten the sex of the infant prodigy, here was his master- piece of an opinion: **Well, well, but he’s a fine little fel- low, isn’t she? How old is it now? Do her teeth bother him much? I hope he gets through its second summer all right. She looks like you, doesn’t he? Every one says it does."’ And then fled pre- cipitately. Save the gasolene and spoil the speed. WHO'S AFRAID? A Truthful Story-teller. William had been West with his mother and had enjoyed the trip in the giass-bottom boat. He was telling about it to a little friend. “Yes, Edgar, we could see the fish laying on the bottom of the ocean!" “Lying, dear,’’ put in his mother. “No, I'm not, mother,"’ he replied stoutly. Toot True. Here’s a page of wisdom From a chauffeur's notebook torn: The smallest automobile Always has the loudest horn. Old Mr. Porcupine—'* Aw, quit blowing that horn. Come on and run into me, if you dare '’ comicbooks.com