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Judge, 1912-05-11 · page 24 of 26

Judge — May 11, 1912 — page 24: what you’re looking at

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Judge — May 11, 1912 — page 24: Judge, 1912-05-11

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertisements and humor pieces** rather than political satire. The main content includes: **Advertisements:** Miller High Life beer, The Sagamore hotel on Lake George, Hotel Gregorian in New York, and Pears' Soap dominate the layout. **Humor pieces:** - "A Modern Achilles" describes Admiral Robley D. Evans (a real historical naval officer) inspecting a battleship and praising a sailor with unshined shoes for his "bravery"—a joke about Evans's dry wit and the sailor's confused obedience. - "Wanted" is a surrealist word-play list (a "Hat for the Head of navigation," etc.)—contemporary absurdist humor. - "A Clerical Error" is a pun: a clergyman hoping a sick woman gets "down and out" (meaning better), misunderstood literally. - "Preferred the Operation" relies on a double entendre about "warmer climate." The page reflects early 20th-century Judge magazine's mix of light advertising and genteel wordplay humor rather than sharp political commentary.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIGH LIFE BEER By Mitter ILWAUKEE UL =" WAKE GEORGE, the grandest lake in the State of New York, unsurpassed scenery, a marvel in beauty and the gateway of The Adirondacks. The Sagamore, meaning “ Big Chief,” a hotel emphat- ically unique in arrangement,a place you must see, | stay awhile, meet the people and you will not want to leave; contentment will be your lot. Try it, and ask those who have been there. Finest Automobile roads in the section; rest, quietness and plenty to do at the same time. T. Edmund Krumbholz, P. 0. Sagamore, N. Y. The Kirkwood, Camden, 8. C. Hotel Montclair, Montclair, N. J. NEW YORK CITY, 85TH ST., FIFTH AV., BROADWAY. The skin welcomes Pears’ M Uinefoon conmetetigacd esite |] | Soap. It gently cleanses, Nearest amiasemeuts, ys NONE BETTER AT ANY PRIC! ' freshens and beautifies. | ace ray opted ged aga Never irritates nor acts 4 rood rom and tats. $2.00 day. harshly OTHERS UP TO $3.0. bec i ‘ | BOOM, BATH. $1.00. Have you used Pears’ | Soap ? Get it anywhere. 22 In answering advertis¢ments please mention JUDGE. I¢ will be appreciated. A Modern Achilles. HE late Robley D. Evans, with all his sternness, was somewhat of a wit—although few seemed to know it, He was inspecting the battleship New Hampshire one day, not long before his retirement. The sailors were all lined up and Evans passed down the line, ing an occasional grunt of satisfaction as he went along. He reached the end and started up the rear. Half way up, his keen eyes detected a sailor with his shoes not shined in back. Evans gave the man a vigorous slap on the shoulder. “You're a brave lad,”’ he said; ‘‘a very brave one!'’ He gave the man another vigorous slap. ‘That's right!" he said, “Always look in front; never mind the rear. If you fight your battles as you shine your shoes, you'll make a '* And with a chuckle he good soldie passed on. Wanted: A Hat for the Head of navigation. A Nightcap for the Brow of the hill. A Monocle for the Eye of opportunity. A Toothbrnsh for the Teeth of the wind. A Stickpin for a matrimonial Tie. A pair of Sleeves for the Arms of the sea. A Glove for the Hand of fate. A Manicure for the Finger of scorn. LinkButtons forthe Cuffsof misfortune. A Corset for the Waste of time. Suspenders for Breaches of trust. A Shoe for the Foot of the hill. A Clerical Error. “And how is your mother inquired the parson, who was making a parochial call at the home of one of his wealthy parishioners. “She is in her room, upstairs. She is very ill,’’ replied his hostess. “You don’t say so!’’ exclaimed the clergyman, whose tact was not always reliable. ‘‘Well, I sincerely hope that she will soon be down and out."’ Preferred the Operation. Doctor (after thoroughly examining patient)—‘‘I'm sorry, Mr. Gaybird, but I'm afraid I'll have to operate on you."” Gaybird—*'Good heavens, doctor! Is it absolutely necessary?” Doctor—‘*Yes, unless you care to go to a warmer climate."’ Gaybird (misunderstanding him)— “Oh, no! I think I prefer the opera- tion.’ Every lover of a good cocktail should insist that Abbott's Bitters be used in making it; ineeres your getting the very best. C. W. Abbott & Co. Baltimore, Md. comicbooks.com