Judge, 1912-05-11 · page 23 of 26
Judge — May 11, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** for Budweiser and other products, but opens with a short satirical story titled "A Bumpless Head." The story mocks **phrenology**—a pseudoscience claiming skull shape revealed character and intelligence. Governor Marshall recounts meeting Judge Anderson in Chicago, who hired Professor Dobbs (a phrenologist and student of Gall, the "eminent" phrenologist) to read his head. The phrenologist examined the judge's skull, then awkwardly refused to speak, returning the payment instead. **The joke**: The phrenologist found nothing worth commenting on—implying the judge's skull/intellect was unremarkable or "bumpless" (lacking the supposedly meaningful protrusions phrenology claimed to read). It's gentle ridicule of both phrenology's absurdity and the judge's wit in exposing the fraud by paying upfront, forcing the charlatan to either admit his method failed or admit he was a con artist. The remainder consists of **full-page Budweiser advertising** showcasing brewery capacity and employment statistics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Bumpless Head. HAT sign over there,’’ Governor Marshall was saying to a friend, “reminds me of my late trip toChicago, where, by the merest chance, I came spon Judge Anderson, whose room at the Annex was opposite to thatof mine. Rejoiced to meet an old acquaintance among so many strange faces, I was not joth to accept the jurist’s hospitality, and was in the midst of an interesting discussion when a page ushered into our presence a person whose oily looking and seedy coat denoted the livery of the mase. But he was nota poet. He an- pounced himself as Professor Dobbs, a popil of Gall, the eminent phrenologist. It was evidential he had come to favor the judge according to appointment, and I waited with engaged attention as he pisced his hands on my friend’s excellent bead. He was all business in a moment —said that his fee, howsoever small, must first be forthcoming. The other, with awide grin, tendered him a bill. Ther. came the test.’” “But,”’ interposed the friend to whom the Governor was speaking, ‘‘did the jodge actually believe in such physio- logical demonstration ?"’ “Why, no! But that is where the joke comes in, The professor—the old seamp!—looked at Anderson's head, coughed, turned a little red, and handed him back the money."’ Snarls. Seest thou a man diligent in his busi- ness? He shall stand before kings— but the chances are the other fellow will ke found sitting with queens. Cast thy bread upon the waters, for thou shalt find it after many days—wet. Every man is the architect of his own ‘ortune—but few get beyond the plans aed specifications for lack of a site. It is easier for a camel to go through he eye of a needle than for a rich man enter the kingdom—but it is easier for B rich man to enter the pockets of the “or than for a needle to go through the ofa camel, The love of money is the root of all vil—but it is the lack of it that ripens fruit. A Warning. is true that fish are found in schools, Though far from being booky; 4 that is why the little fools Are caught a-playing hooky. Budweiser At the Top Bottled with crowns or corks only at the Home Plant in St. Louis The Anheuser-Busch Brewery Covers an area of 140 acres of ground, equal to 70 city blocks, upon which are located 110 individual buildings. CAPACITY TRANSPORTATION FACILITIES Brewing Capacity - 2,500,000 barrels per year | Refrigerator freight cars - 4,500 Malting Capacity = 2,000,000 bushels per year | Horses at home plant 148 Bottling Works - - 1,000,000 bottles daily Grain Storage Elevators 1,750,000 bushels Wasoas’at home plant Stockhouses (for lagering) 600,000 barrels Auto Trucks at home plant Steam Power Plant - 12,000 horse power Horses at Branches Electric Power Plant 4,000 horse power Wapone at Branches Refrigerator Plant - 4,000 tons per day Ice Plants - - 1,200 tons per day Coal used = 325 tons per day Auto Trucks at Branches EMPLOYES FREIGHT At St. Louis Plant 6,000 people ‘Inbound and outbound - 20,000 cars per year At 36 Branches 1,500 people Total Sales, 1911—1,527,832 Barrels Balwnnr Bottled Beer Sales, 1911—~173, 184,600 Bottles Complete With Engine, Rendy te Run eet Steel Launch * $96 staat oat Com 1000 defterece Avenue, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com