Judge, 1912-05-11 · page 11 of 26
Judge — May 11, 1912 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains six separate humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines: **"Time He Quit"** mocks persistent courtship—a young man has called on a girl despite her father's repeated objections, treating parental disapproval as merely a running joke. **"Barberous"** is a pun: a man feels relieved after a haircut, with his friend misinterpreting the relief as financial (from a successful stock deal). **"This Is It"** jokes about editors of humor magazines being stingy—someone giving money "as a joke" is unusual because editors don't typically give anything away. **"A Lost Opportunity"** (top cartoon) shows a dog missing a chance to catch a flying bag, with wordplay about a "gutta-percha man" (rubber man) celebrating fatherhood. **"An Unfriendly Tip"** satirizes small-town theater: a melodramatic villain's seduction scene is interrupted by an audience member heckling that the show will have better attendance tomorrow night. **"A Fine Distinction"** is editorial satire—a newspaper employs many male reporters but categorizes female staff separately as "society reporters," treating them as a distinct, lesser category.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Time He Quit. “GEE here, young man,"’ said the angry father, ‘‘how many times have I told you that I don’t want you to call on my daughter?”’ “‘Oh,”’ replied the suit- or coolly, ‘‘about twen- ty.” “‘Well,’’ said the exas- perated parent, ‘‘don’t you think that’s about enough?”’ “Yes, I do,"’ was the reply. ‘‘When are you going to quit?” Barberous. Browne—“' Dabbler has just had a heavy weight lifted from his mind.”’ Greene—‘One of his stock-jobbing deals turn out better than he ex- pected?”’ Browne—‘‘No. had his hair cut."” This Is It. Bow—"A chap gave me some money yester- day just for a joke.’’ Wow—''Pretty uncom- mon sort of joke!’” Bow—“Oh, I don’t know. He was editor of a funny paper.”” He's A LOST OPPORTUNITY. Pup—"Oh, fudge! I was just about to grab that bag when it flew up.” Snake charmer—‘‘The gutta-percha man appears to be happy.’’ Albino beauty—‘‘ Yes; he has just learned that he is the father of a bouncing baby boy."’ UNIMPORTANT. Marion—"' He wanted to know if we would go to the theater with him, and I said we would." Madeline—"' Who was speaking ?"" Marion—"' Oh, gracious! I forgot to ask." An Unfriendly Tip. It was the first night of a barnstorming troupe in a small Western town, billed to play the remain- der of the week. The villain dragged the shrinking heroine down the stage to the footlights and in her ear he hissed, ‘‘Are we alone?”” And from the meager audience came a wearied growl, ‘Not to-night, you ain’t; but you will be to-morrow night.”” A Fine Distinction. The friend of the city editor was being initiated into the mysteries of modern journalism. “How large a staff have you?”’ he asked. “Let me see,”’ mused the city editor. ‘We have about fifty men, five women and three society reporters.’ Jack (to his sweet- heart)—‘‘Do you think I'd make a great football player, Mabel?’’ Mabel (thoughtfully) —‘‘No, dear; I’m afraid you’d be penalized for holding.’” comicbooks.com