Judge, 1912-03-30 · page 7 of 24
Judge — March 30, 1912 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief humorous verses and jokes typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines. The main cartoon, "The Instalment Plan," depicts a man purchasing flowers from a woman on credit—a commentary on consumer debt and the growing practice of buying goods through installment payments rather than paying upfront. The surrounding jokes are light social satire: one mocks an inventor who can't excuse his tardiness despite inventing numerous devices; another jokes about financial hypocrisy (a man unwilling to share his "last dollar" despite earlier promises); others offer cynical "tips" on social behavior and courtship. The content reflects early 1900s anxieties about modern consumer culture, changing social customs around dating and proposals, and class-based humor. There's no specific political reference—these are generic observations about human nature and contemporary middle-class life meant to provoke knowing laughter from Judge's affluent readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
To Coax a Smile. HUMOROUS fellow named Voax Was always concocting a hoax. One day he dropped dead; His foax laughed and said, “Jim's full of those cute little joax!"’ A Marine Sketch. A sailor once knotted a knot, And with joy stood transfixed to the spot; Then he cried, ‘‘On my phiz! Lookee, mates, if it is Not a nautical knot it is naught.”’ All Patented. Said the famous inventor, ‘‘What use Are all my inventions? The deuce Is always to pay When out late I stay, For I cannot invent an excuse.’” MN ML Miss Coy His Nibs (al Tips. When attending a gathering where the absent ones are freely discussed, it is never wise to leave early. Laugh much and loudly, and the world will surely laugh with you—provided you have wealth; but if poor, it may brand you as being half-witted. Never propose to a girl while under the influence of soft-tinted lights and music. You may be awakened next morning by a hand organ in a drizzle. If your name is Bill, live up to it and please your wife—come in promptly. THE INSTALMENT PLAN. “Oh bsent-mindedly) — A Careful Statement. ‘Only a couple of months ago you said you’d share your last dollar with me said Jones, who was unsuccessfully at- tempting to negotiate a loan. “I know 1 did, old man,”’ replied the one who was doing the tight-wad act; “‘but I haven’t got down to my last dol- lar yet.” Correct. “There's always room up at the top,’” But hobbles, when I spot 'em, Just prove to me conclusively There’s not much at the bottom. beautiful flowers. There 's still a little dew on them."’ I know ; but I 'll pay it to-morrow."” Aiding the Movement. “Poor man! must be nearly frozen to death. “‘No, he isn't. I was just talking to him. He says something is wrong with his watch and he has to keep jiggling it to keep it from stopping.” How he shivers! He A Curio-romance. ‘*Where is the tattooed lady?’’ “*Gone on a bender.’’ “What! Intoxicated?”’ “*No; she fell in love and eloped with a contortionist."’ comicbooks.com