Judge, 1912-03-30 · page 13 of 24
Judge — March 30, 1912 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page contains three satirical pieces: **"Too Late"** (top illustration): A political cartoon depicting the "Chinese Republic" turmoil. It mocks anti-feminist resistance to women's rights—specifically, a legislator opposing women wearing hats, arguing it would distract them from domestic duties and threaten the home's foundations. The satire targets paternalistic arguments used to deny women autonomy and equality. **"April First"** and **"A Boomerang"**: Brief humorous anecdotes about practical jokes backfiring—a boy prematurely leaving his uncle's (mistaking deaths for food), a child placing tacks in a teacher's chair, and a man proposing to two sisters simultaneously. The Chinese Republic story likely references early 20th-century modernization debates in China, using the absurd "hat controversy" to satirize American opposition to women's suffrage and independence—a contemporary social issue Judge's audience would recognize as their own fight.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Time to Come Home. HE small town boy had been sent toa farmer uncle’s to remain for two or three months, but at the end of the second week he showed up at home, much to the disapproval of his father. “Why, Willie, what ha’ back here for?"’ the parent inquired in no pleasant tone. ‘‘I sent you to your uncle’s for a long stay.”” “I know you did,’’ Willie replied; “but, you see, it was this way. The first week they killed a sheep, and we etthat; the next week they killed a hog, and we et that; and yesterday the hired man died, and I thought it was about time to come home.’’ April First. Mother—‘Why, what is the matter, Johnny? What are you crying about?” Johnny— Teacher made me sit in her chair on the platform to-day, just be- cause I whispered once. Mother—*Well, I don’t see anything dreadful in that. You have had to sit there before.’” Johnny—''But there was tacks in her chair to-day! I'd just put ’ for her to sit on.”” » you come em there TOO LATE Trouble in the Chinese Republic. Mrs. Yung Lo (chairman of the Chinese Ladies’ Militant Millinery Association) —‘‘We demand Hats for Women!"’ The Hon. Sin Hi (member of the Leg- islature in the province of York Nu)— “Tam an Anti-Millineryist and cannot conscientiously support you in a move- ment that is a menace to the nation. Nothing would take women away from home so much as the privilege of wear- ing hats; it would unfit our wives and mothers for their sacred duties. They would cease to know how to cook any- thing worthy of being touched with our chopsticks. Your demand threatens the foundations of the home. Our men have always worn the hats, and I believe they should retain the exclusive right. Be content with your happy lot as beings relieved of the responsibility of decid- ing what sort of hats you should wear. You are not yet intelligent enough to know whether to select a hat or a bon- net, a theater cap or an ear-covering toque. It will require generations of evolution before the members of the in- ferior sex are fitted to know the dangers they incur when they clamor for Hats for Women!"’ Incapable of a Doubt. When Senator Albert J. Beveridge first located in Indianapolis, he was en- gaged in the trial of a case in which his opponent was no less a person than the late Benjamin Harrison. The young man’s policy throughout the case was that of the gadfly—he hung close about, buzzed, stung, made every attempt to attract the attention of his distinguished opponent—all to no avail. Harrison's attitude was that of utter ignorance of the young lawyer's existence. That he was really aware of it, however, was evidenced by a remark made to a brother attorney some weeks later: ‘‘It would be a good thing for that young man if. he were occasionally visited by a doubt.”” A Boomerang. April fool joke on the Manywinter sisters.’" Knightly—* What was it?” Flightly—‘*1 proposed to both of them the same day."* Knightly — that."” Flightly uccepted me. I don't see much joke in sither do I. They both comicbooks.com