Judge — March 23, 1912 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“THE FIRING LINE.” Notes from the Basswood Bug/e. THe FIRST spring robbin’ was seen here last week. A feller held Con- stable Hank Frisby up and took his star and his pocketbook. Miss Amarylis Frisby, one of our mil- liners, was over to the county seat twice last month, lookin’ at the latest spring styles from Paris; but she has hardly got the nerve to spring ’em in our town. Any woman who has got a bird cage and a parrot is all fixed nowadays. All she has to do is use the cage for a hat frame and stuff the parrot and stick it up on top, with its ’ wings spread out. There was a bad fire at Ren Hanks’s place last Thursday even- ing, but, inasmuch as Wide Awake Hose Company had sent their red uniform shirts to the laundry to get ready for the annual firemen’s ball, they could not turn out to the fire, and Ren’s hen house and corn crib were a total loss. Tage Butts, our gentlemanly and congenial station agent down to the railrud depot, has got quite high toned of late and has been sendin’ his laundry down to the city. Last week he sent his shirt down to have it laundered, and the laundry sent him back a lot of fe- male underwear in place of it. Tage is hoppin’ mad, as he has got to miss the dance at Tibbitts’s hall, and this is really the only occasion in the year when he really has to wear a shirt. On ordinary occa- sions he kin keep his uniform coat buttoned up tight under his chin and nobody knows the difference. By ROY K MOULTON This begins to look like quite a metro- politan place. A feller was through here the other day tryin’ to sell shoe- strings. We use the word “tryin’"" ad visedly, for everybody in these parts wears boots. A feller could make more money tryin’ to sell gauze underwear to the Eskimos. Slippin’ is very fair these days and sleighride parties are quite numerous. AUTO SUGGESTION. Wife— I see the doctor going by; shall I call him?’ Husband— ‘1M get up” Amos Butts, our popular, talented, and versatile liveryman, has put an oil stove in his hearse and has been rentin’ it to sleighride parties every evening. By settin’ crosswise, they kin get about seven couples in the hearse, and it i very cozy. Ezra Whipple says there one good thing about sleighridin’, and that is that you never have to get out and crawl under the sleigh to fix some- thing and the tires never git punk- tured. A stranger from down to the city has been ‘locked up in our sheet- iron jail for dealin’ off the bottom, and he says this ain't a very hos- pital town tovisit. When he plays, he carried nine decks and kin pick aces out'n the air. One hand he had four aces, Deacon Stubbs had three. Ame Hilliker held aces up on bellhops, and Lem Pringle held three aces and a pair of stenogra- phers. The deacon said he grew slightly superstitious when he see the showdown on that first hand, as there ain't no square deck that has got twelve aces; but they kept on playin’ just the same, until the feller laid down five kings agin Deacon Stubbs’s royal flush, and then the constable interfered. The feller claimed everything was square; but, inasmuch as Deacon Stubbs lost twelve shillin’ and is also the justice of the peace before whom the feller will be tried, the latter ain’t got much more show than a Republican runnin’ for dog catcher in the State of Mississippi. comicbooks.com