Judge, 1912-03-23 · page 5 of 24
Judge — March 23, 1912 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical poetry and humor pieces rather than political cartoons. The top illustration depicts two well-dressed figures near an automobile, captioned "WHEN HIS TROUBLE BEGAN," with dialogue about selling a car—likely satirizing automotive sales and consumer disputes of the early 20th century. The poems address social themes: "Ballad of Free Seeds" criticizes government agricultural giveaways; "Where Time Is Eternity" and other pieces mock romantic disappointments and marital troubles. "A Gold Crop" appears to reference gold mining claims in the Klondike or similar regions, satirizing get-rich-quick schemes. The illustrated vignette shows a woman at a piano, accompanying the marriage-related humor. Overall, the page satirizes early-1900s consumer culture, romance, and economic schemes rather than specific political figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Adam—** Jones is having a lot of trouble with his car."’ WHEN HIS TROUBLE BEGAN. Eve—'* What ails it?" Adam—" Nothing. Ballad of Free Seeds. By McLANDBURGH WILSON ILLIONS of seeds we gave away— Gave to the sturdy farmers free; atly labeled in bright array, Showing what they would grow to be. Each variety fair to see, Naught left out that was rare or dear, All donated by high decree— Where are the seeds of yesteryear? Bumper harvests were raised, they say; Quite stupendous, as all agree. None the less they are back to pray, Making again a hard-up plea. What, we ask, is the mystery? Didn't those crops bear seeds? queer! All has vanished from mead and lea— Where are the seeds of yesteryear? ‘Tis Back 1s the congressman to-day, Holding again his seat in fee; Gladsome he, and exceeding gay, Solid with all the folks is he, Suits constituents to a T. Much he lacks, but has naught to fear; Simply chortles in fiendish glee, Where are the seeds of yesteryear? Uncle Sam, quite astray are we! Passing strange do affairs appear. Read the riddle and find the key, Where are the seeds of yesteryear? In Cannibaldom. Missionary—‘‘ Why do you look at me so intently ?”’ Cannibal—‘‘I am the food inspector.’’ He is trying to sell it."’ Where Time Is Eternity. New York man—‘Say ‘Yes,’ darling !”* Philadelphia girl—*Give me enough time to make up my mind.”” New York man—"But I may not live that long.”’ Some women are whiter than they are painted. Vice Versa. “‘Does the hero marry the heroine at the end of all their troubles?”’ **No; at the beginning.’’ Thought Hubby Was Meant. Society dame—‘‘Oh, doctor, I’m so sorely troubled with ennui!'’ Doctor—*H'm! Why don’t you in- terest yourself in finding out how the other half lives?’’ Society dame—‘‘Gracious! not looking for a divorce!"’ Pride. As we wander along through this vale of tears, It is plain, among other things, That no song is as sweet to a donkey’s ears As the song that the donkey sings. A Gold Crop. Gold excitements spring sometimes from strange causes, and many times bring the reverse of golden results. A Winnipeg dispatch says that more than six hundred claims have been staked out in the Militonas gold field, because of the discovery of gold in the crops of numerous fowls killed. Well, experi- ence has shown that gold is to be found as quickly by the average hen as by the average prospector. Why, I’m comicbooks.com