Judge, 1912-03-23 · page 19 of 24
Judge — March 23, 1912 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains primarily **advertising and serialized fiction**, not political satire. The main content is "Her Message," a gossipy domestic story by William Sanford about a young woman breathlessly sharing social rumors with her cousin about eligible bachelors and marriage prospects among their social circle. The right side features **product advertisements**: Chiclets chewing gum (marketed as refined confectionery for proper society), a "Strong Arms" physical development course, and a Postum coffee substitute testimonial. There is **no political cartoon** on this page. The "satire" of Judge magazine appears in the *writing itself*—the breathless, shallow gossiping of the female character is presented as humorous commentary on women's preoccupations with marriage and social standing. The Postum ad similarly uses humor (a wife's conversion narrative) to sell a caffeine-free alternative. This reflects early 20th-century magazine humor: domesticated, consumer-focused, and gently mocking of middle-class social anxiety rather than political targets.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
z but over. oto. rently obody g the lfish, ne? uistie 1g ae peeck ne of domi- bia is r title ations it bas ve the wher ell it, struct ed be ators eliere Par canal jation > sub right ce its Her Message. By WILLIAM SANFORD. HE WAS pink and pretty, but her S face wore a worried look as she hur- ried down the front steps and thence to the sidewalk. “Good-afternoon, Cousin Tom!’’ she jd to the well-groomed, alert young man who was just in the act of passing ty. “Twas looking out of the window and saw you coming down the sidewalk, go just ran out to tell you something. I suppose you are ina dreadful hurry. You men are mostly in such a rush to get back to those stupid offices. It seems to nie that if I were a man I'd just take my own time. I saw Jimmy Carson at the Chatterton’s dance last night, and he said he never hurried, be- cause he thought it always paid to take life easy. He’s in an office, too, you know. I think it’s his father’s. They've got an awful lot of money! Everybody thinks that Jimmy is perfectly fine, and wonders why he doesn't get married. Bessie Linwood told me last night, just after intermission, that she thought Jimmy was paying quite decided atten- Hard To Drop BUT MANY DROP IT. A young Calif. wife talks about cof- fee: “It was hard to drop Mocha and Java and give Postum a trial, but my nerves were so shattered that I was a nervous wreck, and of course that means all kinds of ills. “At first I thought bicycle riding caused it and I gave it up, but my con- dition remained unchanged. I did not want to acknowledge coffee caused the trouble, for I was very fond of it. “About that time a friend came to live with us, and I noticed that after he had been with us a week he would not drink his coffee any more. I asked him the reason. He replied, ‘I have not had aheadache since I left off drinking cof fee, some months ago, till last week, when I began again, here at your table. Idon't see how anyone can like coffee, anyway, after drinking Postum!’ “I said nothing, but at once ordered a Package of Postum. That was five months ago, and we have drank no coffee since, except on two occasions when we company, and the result each time was that my husband could not sleep, but lay awake and tossed and talked half the night. We were convinced that cof- fee caused his suffering, so he returned to Postum, convinced that the coffee Was an enemy, instead of a friend, and be is troubled no more by insomnia. “I, myself, have gained 8 pounds in Weight, and my nerves have ceased to quiver. It seems so easy now to quit the old coffee that caused our aches and ails and take up Postum.’’ Name given by Postum Co,, Battle Creek, Mich. Read the little book, ‘‘The Road to Wellville,” in packages. ‘There's a Teason,’? Ever read the above letter? A Rew one appears from time to ie. They are genuine, true, and fall of human interest. tion to Phyllis Courtney, and, of course, everybody knows that Phyllis is making a perfect spectacle of herself over him. It would be a nice enough match except that Phyllis is somewhat older than he is and has got rather an unpleasant vem- per. I happen to know, because a whole lot of us girls were down at her summer home in Tiverton for a week- end last August, and I happened to over- hear Genevieve Whitman telling Milli- cent De Wolf that she heard it almost direct from Dorothy Ruggles, and, you know, Phyllis and Dorothy are second cousins and Dorothy ought to know if any one does. Jimmy Carson is just as nice as he can be, and I do hope that he will marry some girl who will make him a good wife. Not that I care especially about him myself, although I will say that he’s awfully jolly and entertaining and always has such proper views on everything. Only last night, while we were dancing the second extra, he told me he thought that every husband should take his wife to Europe at least once a year, and buy her an electric runabout, and lots of little things like that. Of course he said they didn’t cost much. It was just the idea of the thing. Jimmy waltzes perfectly lovely. He danced the Yorke with me last night, too, and he must know that Phyllis Courtney is perfectly crazy over the Yorke. I saw Phyllis watching us from the corner. She was with that Bromley man that’s so fat and horrid, somehow. Now, if they all said it was that man who was paying decided attention to Phyllis, no one would think it strange. But how any man that's as perfectly nice as Jimmy Carson is could ever be- come interested in a girl at least a year older than he, and with such a temper as they all say Phyllis Courtney has, is be- yond me. Not that I care very espe- cially about Jimmy Carson myself, al- though, as I said, I think he’s awfully jolly and entertaining and that his views on the matter of providing for a wife are’’—— “But, Ethel, what was it that you wished to tell me? I’ve missed my car, but, by running to the next corner, I may be able to get a taxi. You see, the manager is away and I'm in charge this week, and I ought to be at the office now."* “‘Why, Cousin Tom, you needn't be so cross with me! I saw you coming down the sidewalk, and I just came out to tell you that I went to the dance last night.’" Nowadays! In the spring the young man's fancy Lightly turns to autos new— In the spring the lively mortgage Grows upon the bungalow. “Has perpetual motion ever been dis- covered ?"” “Well, there’s the South American revolution."" very lover of a good cocktail should insist that Abbott's Bitters be used in making it; insure your vetting the very best, C.W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. hiclets REALLY DELIGHTFUL The Dainty Nlint Covered Candy Conted Chewing Gum Chiclets are the re- finement of chewing um for people of re- inement. Served at swagger luncheons, teas, dinners, card par- ties. The only chew- ing gum that ever received the unqualified sanction of best society. It’s the peppermint—the true mint. Look for the Bird Cards in the packages. You can secure a beautiful Bird Album free. For Sale at all the Better Sort of Stores Sc. the Ounce and in Sc., 10c. and 2c. Packets SEN-SEN CHICLET COMPANY Metropoliten Tower jew York 1 will send as long 2s they last my 25¢e. book STRONG ARMS For 10 cents in stamps or coin Illustrated with 20 full pege half-tone cuts showing exercises that will quick! develop, beautify and gain great strengt! in your shoulders, arms and hands with- out any apparatus. In addition to the above | will be pleased to answer any question on developing or reducing any other part of your body, without additional charge. PROF. ANTHONY BARKER 1041 Barker Bldg. 110 WEST 42ed STREET == NEW YORK CITT 1 give personally iwticttual instreetions for health and strength at my elect gym Established 26 years in New York in answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com