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Judge, 1912-03-16 · page 23 of 23

Judge — March 16, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at

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Judge — March 16, 1912 — page 23: Judge, 1912-03-16

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising with humor content**, typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine format. The main content includes brief comic anecdotes ("The Best from Others") employing simple, slapstick humor: a man claiming he bit his own forehead while standing on a chair; absurdist jokes about shoe sizes and hotel "palms" (slang for gratuities). **Advertisements dominate**: Hunter Baltimore Rye whiskey, Allen's Foot-Ease powder, Hotel St. Denis, and other products use period-typical marketing claims ("25 years before the public"). The **"Spring Poetry"** section offers light verse mocking overwrought spring poetry—a gentle satire of literary pretension. Overall, this page reflects Judge's formula: mixing lowbrow humor with consumer advertising, targeting middle-class American readers. No specific political commentary or identifiable caricatures appear here—it's entertainment and commerce aimed at contemporary audiences.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Best from Others. Logic. John returned home at a very ques- tionable hour, and among other souvenirs of a special evening he carried a consid- erable gash on his forehead. His wife demanded an explanation of the wound. “Nothin’ be ‘larmed ’bout, m’ dear. Jes’ bit m’self.”” “John Brown! How could you bite yourself on the forehead?"’ exclaimed his irritated helpmate. This had presented no difficulties to the versatile John, if it had taxed the credulity of his spouse. “T stood on chair, y’knaw,’’ he ex- claimed glibly.—Gargoyle. Heard on State Street.—Beggar— “Please, mister, give me a nickel.’" Passer-by—‘‘Can't do it, my good fellow. All my money is in copper.”"— Boston Transcript. Love's Labor. — Blushing bride—‘* What was that our friends stuck all over our suitcases, dearest?” Groom—‘‘Honey love, that was a union label.’"—Stanford Chaparral, HUMAN INGENUITY CANNOT MAKE BETTER WHISKEY THAN HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE FROM SELECTED GRAIN SCIENTIFICALLY DISTILLED AND THOROUGHLY AGED Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. { A QUARTER CENTURY BEFORE THE PUBLIC Over Five Million Free Samples Given Away Each Year. Tho Constant and Increasing Sales From Samples Proves the Genuine Merit of ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE. Shake Into Your Shoes Allen's Foot=Ease, the antiseptic powder for the feet. Are you a trifle sensitive about the sizeof yourshoes? Many people wear shoes a size smaller byshakingAllen’sFoot-Ease intothem. Just the thing for aching, hot feet and for Breaking in New Shoes. If you have tired, swollen, tender feet, Allen's Foot-Ease gives instant relief. We '€ OVET 30,000: testimon: TRY IT TO-DAY. Sold everywhere, 25c. Donot accept any sub- } stitute. FREE TRIAL PACKAGEsent by mail. A daress, ALLEN S. OLMSTED, LE ROY, N. Y.: HOTEL ST. DENIS BROADWAY AND ITH STREET NEW YORK CITY. Within Easy Access of Every Point of Interest Half Block from Wanamaker's. 5 minutes’ walk of Shopping District. NOTED FOR: Excellence of Cuisine, Com- fortable Appointments, Courteous Service and Homelike Surroundings. ROOMS $1.00 PER DAY AND UP EUROPEAN PLAN Table d’Hote Breakfast 50c. WM. TAYLOR & SON, Ino. ALSO HOTEL MARTINIQUE, Broadway and 33rd Street. Spring Poetry. Some carp at verse On spring. One might do worse Than sing About the buds upon the bough; You cannot stop it, anyhow. We're getting near The time When vernal cheer In rhyme Throughout the land will be on tap. The ink starts running with the sap. —Louisville Courier-Journal. AFrequent Result of the Hop.—A flicted stude—*Um— ah —er—er—er! Ha, hal”?—— Jeweler (to his assistant)—‘‘Bring that tray of engagement rings here, John.""—Gargoyle. Coming, Sir, Coming!—ZJndignant cus- tomer (who has ordered chicken-and- ham pie)—‘‘Look here, waiter! What's the matter with this pie? There’s no chicken in it!” Waiter—'*Well, sir, you wouldn't ex- pect to find a dog in a dog biscuit, would you?"’—London Sketch. First guest—‘I’m sure I don’t know why they call this hotel ‘The Palms’! Do you? I’ve never seen a palm any- where near the place.’’ Second guest—'‘You'll see them be- fore you go. It’s a pleasant little sur- prise the waiters keep for the guests to the last day of their stay.’’—Tut Bits. a Smith and Jones were speaking about the fine points of their respective sons. “That boy of mine,” remarked Smith extravagantly, ‘‘is the genuine article! He’s all wool, you can bet!’” “Shouldn’t wonder,’ commented Jones. ‘‘I notice he shrinks from wash- ing.” —Tit Bits. Try Murine Eye Remedy for Red, Weak, Watery Eyes and Gransinted Eyelid. fo Smart ing---Just Eye Comfort. s/{ Valley GEMS So bard tvey east scratch a fle and will cut glace, Brit fancy guaranteed 28 yeare. All mounted to tin V rite today for free illustrat uy ‘Sing toensure. WIITE VALLEY GEM Ca, C713 Saks Bldg jadanpas 10d like hungry wolves and keep you bass if after them with my wonderfal Hish-luriag Balt MAGIC-FISH. LURE. Bost fish bait ever invented. You catch a big string of fhe Bn i gebet oper ea ing fora bite Or, eed. “Write for Free Booklet and my special otferotose = Lohelp fntrodace tt GERD J.¥. GREGORY, Dept M. Bt. Louls, ao | 9C Press Cutting Bureau will send you all ne relippings which may appea you, your friends, or any subject on waich you may want to be “up todate.”, Every newspaper and periodical of importance in the United States and Europe is $5.00 for 100 notices. Henny RowEiKe, 100-110 Seventh Avenue, New York. B Sexver om sig Pasiees ‘balay oorly af tavere eayels ck rite today for our is3 Erkars aha Advertising of Advertising— Everybody is talking about it, but Judge and Leslie’s Weekly are doing it. (See page 22) In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com