Judge, 1912-03-02 · page 5 of 24
Judge — March 2, 1912 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features three humorous poems about aviation's early development. The image caption "WHEW! THAT MUST BE PITTSBURGH" suggests a dark, chaotic aerial scene—likely depicting the chaos of early flight. The poems satirize the rapid technological progression of transportation: - **"A Transitory Tale"** mocks how quickly people abandoned each innovation (baby carriage → bicycle → automobile → airplane), suggesting human obsession with the newest invention. - **"Expert Testimony"** features a professor and "thirsty aviator" discussing flying experiments and a cow-powered "Butterfly" aircraft—clearly absurdist humor about ridiculous aviation schemes. - **"Repairs"** laments the expensive, endless maintenance required for owning an airplane. The satire targets both the fickle nature of technological enthusiasm and aviation's impracticality in this early era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Transitory Tale. E GOT a baby carriage first, And then a rocking horse; And then a red and yellow cart, And then a sled, of course. He next acquired a bicycle, Of which in time he tired, And bought a steed—a gallant bay— In old Kentucky sired. Then, next, he got an auto car— A sporty, gray machine— So fast, it traveled in a cloud Of dust and gasoline; And then he got an aeroplane, Went up and tangled things, Came down and hit the solid earth, And got a pair of wings.—Atinns Jrving “WHEW! THAT MUST BE PITTSBURGH.” Expert Testimony. Professor (buttonholing Mr. Hygh Flyre on his return to earth)—*‘ Which, my dear sir, of all the inventions for transporting man aerially do you con- sider destined to survive the age of ex- periment?”’ Thirsty aviator (fervently) — ‘My dear sir, the highball!’’ Quite So. He sold his cow for a go.dly sum, And with a biplane home did come; And, since ’twould soar so very high, He named the thing, ‘‘The Butterfly.” Repairs. I bought an auto car, but what With tires and gasoline, I mortgaged everything I had To keep the blamed machine. A friend advised me, then, to sell The benzine buggy quick, And buy a little aeroplane And learn the flying trick. Since I commenced to aviate, It hasn’t cost a dime To fix the plane, and yet my purse Is empty all the time. Where once for auto-car repairs Lused to spend my pelf, Lo! now I have to pay it out To be repaired myself. comicbooks.com