ComicBooks.com Register / Loginit's free!

Judge, 1912-03-02 · page 19 of 24

Judge — March 2, 1912 — page 19: what you’re looking at

📖 Open the full issue in the page-flip reader →
Judge — March 2, 1912 — page 19: Judge, 1912-03-02

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising with a humor section**. The "Scissored Airisms" column contains brief satirical anecdotes—short jokes mocking contemporary figures and situations. ## Key Content: **The humor pieces** target: - **Aviation enthusiasts** (new technology being treated naively—one joke suggests aeroplanes will interfere with bird migration) - **A U.S. Senator** (depicted as pompously refusing to do manual labor) - **Congressman Wombat** (satirizing politicians who dodge corruption charges by invoking patriotic rhetoric about the Constitution instead of addressing actual grafting allegations) - **A widow** (humor based on her multiple marriages) **The advertisements** are for alcohol (whiskey, ale, bitters), synthetic gems, hats, and cutlery—typical products of the era. The "RémohGems" ad explicitly markets fake diamonds as legitimate substitutes. The satire reflects early-1900s anxieties: new aviation technology, political corruption, and consumer culture's embrace of imitation products. Modern readers should note the casual acceptance of both advertising fraud and political evasion.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GRANDFATHER USED STILL THE BEST. Note style 2% bottling This is the Guaranteed Original Package. It is handled by the best dealers thruout the United States If you cannot find it we will tell you where you can be supplied nght in. your neighborhood, BERNHEIM DISTILLING CO. Louisville, Ky. diagonally Goaraateed ter Lit RémohGems NOT IMITATIONS DIAMONDS wiser eee firo snd ‘eid teste = guaran Sent money cheerfalty refunded if fatisfactory, Write for our eye in four REEL Remoh Jewelry Co., pj 469 N. Broadway St. Louis, Mo, Scissored Airisms. No Imminent Danger.—‘‘Aviation is progressing at a wonderful rate, isn’t it?” “Yes."" “I suppose the aeroplanes will soon be scudding through the skies at night.”” “Possibly; but I think it will be some time before they will seriously in- terfere with the bird migrations."’ An Eastern man has invented an aero- plane that will fly, skate, and swim. The thing will probably dive of its own accord. Even a lady aviator should refrain from doing fancy work on an aeroplane. — Youngstown Telegram. Taking Chances.—An aviator de- scended ina field and said to a rather well-dressed individual, ‘‘Here! Mind my machine a minute, will you?’’ “*What?"’ the well-dressed individual snarled. ‘*Me mind your machine? Why, I’m a United States Senator !’’ “Well, what o said the aviator. “I'll trust you.”"—Argonaut. Remembered.—Archdeacon Fisher was not without a little vanity in respect to his sermons, and once received a quiet hint from Constable on the subject. Having preached an old sermon once, which he was not aware that Constable had heard before, he asked him how he liked it. “Very much, indeed, Fisher,’’ replied Constable. ‘I always did like that ser. mon.’’—Tit-Bits. On the Jump.—One of Lord Charles Beresford’s tenants who conducted a small undertaker’s establishment in Waterford was one day asked how the business was getting along. Grand, me lord!’’ he exclaimed. “I now have the luckiest little htarse you ever saw. Glory be to goodness was never a day idle since I got it!’ Tit- Bits. A Diplomat.—‘‘ Did you hear Congress- man Wombat’s speech?” “I did that.” “What did he say about those charges of grafting which have been brought against him?” “He didn’t touch on that subject. But he said the Constitution must and shall be preserved.’’—Louisville Cou- rier-Journal. Her Lonely Journey.—‘‘I suppose,”’ said Mrs. Tartleigh, “when you die you expect to meet all your husbands?” “You are very rude!’’ retorted Mrs. Muchwedde. ‘‘When I die I expect to go to heaven."’—Tit-Bits. In Missouri.—A Belleville merchant has this sign on his store door: “Come in without knocking. Go out the same way.’’—Kansas City Journal. Every lover of good cocktail should insist that Abbott's Bitters be used in making it; insures your getting the very best. C.W. Abbott & Co. Baltimore, Md. The Sparkling Briliancy The Creamy Head The Luscious Flavor Charming Fragrance of the Hops The Tonic of the Malt all combine to make EVans Ale the eloquent, soul-warming, seductive, comfort- ing and caressing beverage which it is. Take a course of home treatment Celebrated Hats SPRING STYLES Now On Sale NEW YORK Chicago Philadelphia Brooklyn seit. It you don’t—yoor money back by return mail. State si 4 $2 today: Write for 1912 Style Book of Hats and Caps veee FRENCH P.H.CO.,__°* ©: 8th pitt ladelphia, Pa. Better than Scotch Better than trish G « W Canadian Whisky Distilled by Gooderham & Worts, Limited, Toronto, Canada Better than Bourboa Better than Rye In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com