Judge — March 2, 1912 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Why Books Multiply. ]s THE first place, Scribbleton writes a book called ‘‘The Hus- bands of Lucy.’’ It scores a big success, and a reporter from the The Passionate Aviator. (Taree hundred year ater Kit Marlowe ) Come, fly with me and be my love, And we'll skyhoot through realms above; | | Daily Grind interviews the author. Other reporters come, till the writ- er begins to wonder why he can- not do something in that line him- self. He getsout another volume, “‘How I Came To Write ‘The Hus- bands of Lucy.’’’ Then Littleman Lackcopy publishes one entitled “The Home Life of Scribbleton, Author of ‘The Husbands of Lu- cy,’’’ and Susan Spoilpaper takes her pen in hand and produces ‘‘The Character of Lucy: Is She Typi- cal?’” Next Albert Alsoran comes out with ‘‘Scribbleton—An Apprecia- tion,’? and J. Jumpupp calls his “Is Scribbleton Overrated?” Scribbleton is pretty sure he is not overrated, and he likes the taste of royalties; so he tries again, calling it ‘‘Moonligzt on the Highway: A Sequel to ‘The Husbands of Lu- cy.’’” In the meantime Oliver Goldsmith Sneakaround has pub- lished ‘‘The Debt Scribbleton Owes to Wrightenwell.”” After a while Scribbleton dies and his wife breaks into print with ‘‘Some Unfinished Stories by Scribbleton, Edited by His Wife." Isaac Inkslinger per- petrates ‘‘The Scribbleton I Knew,’’ and J. Jones Gumshoe “Scribbleton’s Love Affairs.’’ The reporter who first wrote him up steps to the front with “*Seribbleton and Other Celebri- ties I Have Interviewed.”” Then appear ‘‘Scribbleton’s Place in Literature,’’ by Book- worm Research, and ‘‘Scribble- ton’s Letters,’” by Bronson Bodysnatcher. There is no knowing how far it might go, but, fortunately, a new author appears, whose book makes even a greater stir than Scribbleton’s; so Scribbleton and ‘‘The Husbands of Lucy’’ are relegated to the background, for the present at least, while the crowd goes through the same performance with the new man. — Walter G. Dety. SATISFIED WITH HIMSELF. Soft drink turneth away guests. Scarecrow (proudly)—'‘ Ha! I can even scare the big ones away.”” We'll sail as high as we can go— For love on land is now too ‘‘slow.’”” We'll take aspin among the stars, And spend our honeymoon on Mars; Then, when the year gets round to June, We'll do our spooning i. the moon. For us Niagara has no charms; Mundane resorts are ‘‘false alarms.’" Let others hike to hills or bay— We'll skim adown the Milky Way. The Evening Star shall be our lamp, And Sirius shall guard our camp; Orion shall be there to keep The Bears from breaking up our sleep. In wind-swept space we shall enjoy Our love without earth’s base alloy. So fly with me and be my love, And we shall all the pleasures prove. John Northern Hilliard New Variety. Barely had the caterpillar set- tled himself to eat, however, than he was touched on the shoulder by anat:endant, who held out a plate in a significant manner. “‘What!"’ exclaimed the cat- erpillar indignantly. The attendant pointed to an indicator. ‘‘This,’’ quoth he quietly, ‘‘is a taxicabbage!"’ Any Port in a Storm. “But, George,’’ said Mrs. Bjones, ‘‘I cannot go tothe thea- ter with you to-night. I have nothing to wear.”” “That’s all right, dear,” said Bjones. ‘‘Put it on and we'll go to the opera.’’ Method in Their Modesty. “Aviators appear to bea modest set.’’ “They probably appreciate the truth of the adage, ‘Pride goes before a fall.’”’ When Money Took Wings. Comedian —‘‘Did the ghost walk?"" Soubrette—‘No; it was an aviation comedy, and the ghost flew after the first week.’’ comicbooks.com