Judge, 1912-02-17 · page 10 of 24
Judge — February 17, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century humor: **Top Cartoon ("Made an Enemy"):** Shows a clergyman (Rev. Hitchem) departing while seated men discuss him. The caption reveals the bachelor married the reverend to his current wife—implying the reverend performed an unwanted wedding, making him an "enemy." **"A Dramatic Critic's Confession":** A poem mocking theater critics who claim authority over shows' success or failure, yet admit their reviews depend on personal moods (indigestion, dinner quality) rather than actual merit. The satire targets critics' self-importance and their power over public opinion despite their arbitrary judgments. **Other pieces** include brief jokes about: a waiter's evasive answer about chicken freshness; a wife finding dark humor in losing custody to a difficult ex-husband; a doctor with few funeral attendees (patients died under his care); and a couple on a date with mismatched eating paces. The page exemplifies Judge's formula: satirizing professional pretension and domestic irony through short comedic pieces.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Bachelor—"' There goes the Rev. Hitchem; know him?" A Dramatic Critic’s Confession. ’M_A CRITIC of the drama. The absorbing panorama On the stage enacted nightly do I wit- ness sans expense. Sometimes sadly, sometimes gayly, I review them in my daily. It is mine to make or break them—I’m a man of consequence. them, at will. conscience? If I’ve had a royal dinner, I am apt to dub a winner The show that I attend that night, no matter what it’s worth; But if pained with indigestion, There is very little question But what my criticism will of mercy show a dearth, I'm a man of moods a-plenty, I possess eighteen or twenty, And so I'm not responsible for many things I say; But my catchy style of writing Is satirical and biting, And people like to read my stuff, though brickbat or bouquet. So I boost 'em and I roast 'em, And the public—well, I post ’em. Each word I say they swallow, and ac- cordingly they act. erial ensemble cause to fear and tremble (And sometimes they approach me with diplomacy and tact). chickens, sir, MADE AN ENEMY. But I’m mostly on the level, And in raising hob I revel; I love to crowd the theaters, or empty And I’ll make this revelation— It's my own great reputation That is first to be considered. It is nil. NO DESSERT. Guest—'' When was this chicken killed ?"” Waiter—“' We don't furnish dates with Only bread and butter."’ Benedict—* Not since he married me to my present wife."” Looking on the Bright Side. “George,”” she cried, putting her arms around his neck and sobbing upon his breast, ‘‘something awful has hap- pened!” “There, dear, don’t worry!’? he re- plied, patting her tenderly on the cheek. ‘What is the trouble?”’ —Knarf Remlap. 5 And my “The judge has decided that my former husband is to have possession of the chil- dren. “‘Never mind, dearie. Think cf the joke it will be on his wife!” —_ There's a Reason. Coy—‘‘How few people attended the funeral of Dr. Pillman!"’ Roy—‘‘ Well, they do say that most of his patients went before him.’” A Table d’Hote Dinner. Now, one fine day, young Tommy A. Took Mamie R. to dine. Each appetite was keen, oh, quite! And everything was fine. Tom still ate steak when May had reached Her demi-tasse cup. Now, say, how long d'you think it took For Tomatoketchup? = —Grace Amery. comicbooks.com