Judge, 1912-02-10 · page 16 of 24
Judge — February 10, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine: **"Washington and Egypt's First King"** (main article by Ellis Parker Butler): A humorous comparison between George Washington and Menes of Egypt. The joke exploits historical uncertainty about Menes's birth dates (ranging from 5702-2691 B.C. according to Egyptologists). Butler satirizes this by claiming Menes was "born" repeatedly over 2,100 years, creating absurd scenarios where he'd age backward or forward depending on which date scholars used. The implied target appears to be Egyptologists' conflicting chronologies and academic uncertainty—suggesting their inability to establish reliable dates made Menes's life logistically impossible. Washington, by contrast, had his birth dates standardized (February 11th and 22nd, 1782), making his accomplishments more feasible. **"Uncle Sam's Daughters"** (top cartoons): Two word-cloud silhouettes labeled "Miss Boston" and "Miss New York" composed of American city/institution names, apparently representing regional or civic characteristics. The specific satirical point is unclear without fuller context. **"Vain the Wish"** (small joke): A married couple joke about a woman paid for speaking—the husband wishes his wife had similar economic value.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
eae Sn se sir oD 00 \SNW 1 P Rice: ; MISS BOSTON. T THIS time it is profitable to com- pare two great generals—George Washington, the first President of the United States, and Menes, the first King of Egypt. In some respects the two men were alike. Both, for instance, were born; but Mr. Washington, of America, has considerable the advantage of Mr. Menes, of Egypt, in the birth business. George was born only a cou- ple of times, but Menes was born every once in awhile for over two thousand years. That he accomplished what he did while having to stop every few days to be born is one of the most remarkable things in history. George Washington was born February 11th and February 22d, 1782. For a long while he was born February 11th only, but this becoming monotonous, it was de- cided to add February 22d to his birthday list. Poor old Menes, however, was born anywhere from 5702 B.C. to 2691 B.C., according to the Egyptologists. It will thus be seen what a | handicap he had. When a man HCI Sermo: eH eo UNCLE SAM‘S DAUGHTERS. Washington and Egypt's First By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER. ing born every few years for 2,100 years, he has his hands full. If George Washington had had to go home from the battle of Yorktown, just as Corn- wallis was passing over his snickersnee, and be born, the British tyrant might still rule our land. Cornwallis was a patient man, reasonably anxious to sur- render, but not the man to stand around holding his sword by the point while a tall, lank general of a severe cast of countenance went home to be born. RN VAIN THE WISH. ry <\, AX S Zn AA S MISS NEW YORK. King. General Washington also had an ad- vantage in living in a time when the gladsome years passed by consecutively numbered. It is a great help to any man to know that next year is going to be next year and not year before last. Poor old Menes, with his common-school education, was always tangled up on his dates. He would go home and be born in 5700 B. C., and in 5699 B, C. he would be one year old. Or, if he went on one of his being-born expeditions and got himself comfortably born in 4000 B.C., along would come 3900 B. C., a hundred years later, and Menes would find he was one hun- dred years old, when by rights he should not have been born for one hundred years yet. As he wrote to his poor, long-suffering mother, ‘‘I am getting all balled up! What with being born every once in a while and the calendar running so that yesterday is day after to-morrow, and next Christ- mas is last Christmas, I’m get- ting sick of the whole job.’’ We don’t blame him. George Wash- ington himself would have been has to conquer a big stretch of land like Egypt and attend to be- ‘Tt says here in the paper that Mary Gardner gets five dollars every time she opens her mouth."” “Gee! I wish my wife did.”” sore if he had begun the Revolu- tionary War in 1775 and, after comicbooks.com