Judge — January 20, 1912 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Extract from a woman's emancipation article: ‘@ Sex, are expected to conform to a type, that has remained the enigma of the sa- The whole movement was evidently a complete organic de- vants of allages. rangement, probably foreshadow- ing the inevitable disintegration of a hybrid on its devolutional descent. Also it was a time of sorrow and vexation for our fore- fathers. Witness this ancient newspaper clipping, which com- plains, with a bitterness that is all eloquence: ‘Alas, our woeful fate! For whereas formerly man could get on without woman, he now finds that he cannot get along with her. .Wherefore our towns have neither a mayor nor a may- oress."" Thus was the twilight of man. Yet out of the very shadow of the skirt was born our bright era. For it was in the year 1920 that the great Manfred took out his first patent for the manufacture of the Vitallic-Auto-Biogenetic- Man and published his formulas. When we consider, messieurs, in what scientific darkness, crude resources, Manfred cannot but accord him the laurel of highest genius. The ingenious master went to work with the ma- terials tohand. He took the foam of the life-giving sea and mixed it with the yolk of the oldest egg he could find. Then, by means of hypnosis, which was then not yet generally known to be part of the life force, Manfred invoked the manliness of dead and ancient he- roes of the past into his pot, and, heating the concoction with all the wasted warmth of affection which had gone astray in the world since men and women were, he allowed it to simmer. Soon the homunculus appeared and, fed by electrolized ozone, assumed per- manent life. Manfred had in- vented the birth machine. Such, as you all know, is the origin of PERHAPS. our life. Manfred accomplished with infinite patience what to-day we perform by the simple process of concentrating with what labored, we SAD, BUT TRU Fair traveler (to Italian army officer) — the Italian so Cavalry captam—"' Why, yes plasm. generic thought upon the universal bio- Let me complete for you the brief and Captain, are not jers inveterate cigarette smokers ?”” er—that is, here in Tripoli we cannot get enough ‘Turkish Trophies." |, fateful history of woman. discovered fragments of documentary evidence enable me to present you with Strong measures were taken. " ing —— while men, being human, are expected to differ one from another."” Some newly an accurate history of what took place. Manfred’s discovery brought a sharp and sudden reali- zation to the embattled women. They saw, too late, that the very reason of their being, their sole excuse for existence, had been de- stroyed. Knowing only too well that they had forfeited whatever accidental favor they may have found in the eyes of majestical man, they foresaw that their case was indeed desperate. With one piercing wail of despair, they gathered into a frenzied host and hurled themselves upon Manfred’s laboratories. In those days, I re- gret to say, women had kept the generous heart of mun ferocious and without mercy. The iniqui- tous principle of property which, according to all accounts, arose in woman was being attacked by the very mob that had evoked it. Nothing could abate the fury of the assailants. A TEUTONIC RADIATOR “ Hey, Jimmie! Come over here and get warmed."* They were exterminated to a woman! That is the history, messieurs, which hides behind this little piece of rusted iron. Alfred Booth Ke Located. An orator, wishing to give an il- lustration to point his moral, shouted, ‘‘Where is the fool who rocked the boat last summer?"’ “Say, mister,"” came a voice from the audience, ‘tyou can find him down on the pond, trying to see how near he can skate to the ‘Danger’ sign.”* A Truism. A man doesn’t always look as young as he feels or a woman feel as young as she looks. comicbooks.com