Judge — January 20, 1912 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Thoughtless admirer—" You ‘re looking splendid this evening Success. By ELLIS 0. JONES CAN truthfully say | am a sue- said the literary man who “cs cess,"’ had hitherto kept The others loc and tried to think of something he had written, “Yes,"" he went on. ‘It enough for a business man to stay mar- ilent. at his modest attire is easy ried when he is home only one day in the week, but I have been doing all my work at home for nearly thirty years and I still have the same wife I started with."’ The Woman of It, Of Course. “Jermalon tells me that his wife is very angry with you because you didn't keep your promise not to tell anybody what she told you about her sister-in- he has no reason to censure asserts Mrs. Pilfickle. ‘‘I never confided it to anybody except you."” ‘That’s just it, my dear. I hap- 1 to mention it to one or two of the fellows downtown, and they spread it around until'it came to Jermalon’s ears, and he told his wife about it. I don’t see why it is you women have to gossip all the time." As Shelley Has It Not. I fear thy kisses, gentle maiden, I fear thy mien, thy tone, thy mo- tion— Methinks thine eyes are heavy laden With thoughts about this leap-year notion. A] A FAUX PAS. Frenzied Finance. Little Jack Horner got a good corner On all the wheat supply; But the price of it fell before he could sell, And he said, ‘‘What a thickhead am ry There's more truth than poetry in some poetry. oa Se Boss—" What is the cause of this continual tardiness, young man ?”” Newly-2ced employee—* Well, I, er—um «have to button up the ashes, light the shirt- ‘waist, and throw ont the furnace before I can leave home." (Deprecatory murmur from girl.) But perhaps it's the light !"" Humorless Women The Wandering Willie had received plentiful inward repairs at a generous farmhouse half a mile down the road, and when he came to the next he might have passed on, but he was in still fur- ther need, and he knocked at the kitchen door. A kind lady responded to his knock. He was such a ragged specimen that her heart was moved before he spoke. “Why, you poor man!’ she ex- claimed. ‘‘Come into the house! We haven’t got much just now, but you can have enough to keep body and soul to- gether.” “'Tain’t that so much, lady,’’ he re- plied, sticking out a foot in a dilapidated shoe, ‘‘as it is something to keep upper and sole together."’ He laughed at his joke, but the woman did not. Women have no sense of humor. She slammed the door in his face. His Specialty. “Do you speak several father?” “No, my son,’? replied Mr. Henpeck, gazing sadly at his wife; ‘‘but Ido know the mother tongue.”’ languages, The Fault. Nurse—'‘Yes, brought twins.’’ Johnny—'*Gee! That's what we get for having a specialist!’’ Johnny, the doctor comicbooks.com