Judge, 1911-12-23 · page 5 of 24
Judge — December 23, 1911 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main feature is a Christmas poem by Garretson Goodrich titled "Merry Christmas!" with decorative Santa Claus heads in the corners. The poem's central message advises readers that true Christmas joy comes from *giving* rather than receiving—"It's what you give—not what you get." Below, a section titled "What To Do To Make Christmas Pass Pleasantly" describes humorous holiday contests for households: a popularity contest where family members rank gift quality, a "Lighting Contest" featuring men in Santa costumes with flowing beards, and a "Spread Contest" determining which gifts to exchange or discard. The satirical intent mocks consumer materialism and competitive family dynamics during Christmas, suggesting that holiday gift-giving often creates tension rather than genuine joy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
What To Do To Make Christ- mas Pass Pleasantly. Sueteted by FRANK 8. WILLLAMS OPULARITY Contest—By catalogues and the CLristmas ads in the news- papers and magazines, the members of the household check up the cost of the Presents they have received. The person whose gifts total the greatest amount, after discounting fifty per cent. for the usual inflated Christmas value, is the winner and secures the pool, which con- sists of all the secondhand gifts received by all members of the family. The Lighting Contest—This is another popular pastime for the evening of the day. All the male persons in the house array themselves in Santa Claus cos- tumes, with long, flowing beards. Then Merry Christmas! By GARRETSON GOODRICH. Bells are jingling everywhere ; Jubilation ‘s in the air. All is free—just get your share Of merry istmas | What? Not merry, friend, for you? Feeling sombre? Feeling blue ? Sad, when joy is but your due This merry Christmas ? Say! Perhaps the trouble 's this: You ‘ve given nothing, so you miss That real delight, that deepest bliss Of merry Christmas ! It's what you give—not what you get. You can't give much, perhaps, but yet You've smiles; give them, and then don’t fret, “Bout merry Christmas! they all attempt to take the gifts from the Christmas tree at the same time. The first one to get his whiskers afire and to singe his face is the winner and secures the others’ whiskers to use in place of medical cotton, of which there is naturally none in the house. Speed Contest—The first femaie per- son to determine which of the gifts to exchange, which to wrap up for giving to some one else next year, and which to throw immediately into the trash basket is the winner, and as a prize is privi- leged to make three distinct disparaging remarks concerning the quality and quan- tity of gifts received by her female rel- atives who are present. Every tittle Get-rich-quick has a lot of little Get-poor-quicks. Omni-present. Funny fellow, that Santa Claus; he leaves presents in our presence, and goes away without having made known his presence. News. “Why is it that bad news travels so much faster than good news?”’ “Because that’s the only kind news- papers will print.’” A Post-Christmas Groan. The Christmas-tide draws to a close. I'm feeling like the deuce, for I know not how I shall dispose Of the gifts I have no use for. Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey, Where prices accumulate and wages de- cay. comicbooks.com